


Better Left Buried

by ISawItInAWindow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, soccer au-ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISawItInAWindow/pseuds/ISawItInAWindow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a visit to Henry’s favorite soccer star, Emma Swan, the past is unearthed in the only way it can be; as a torrent whirlwind that threatens to shatter the tentative lives so carefully built around long buried skeletons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome Lovelies!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is work intended for enjoyment and by no means is this for profit. Characters are not mine but the story is.
> 
> Enjoy.

Regina Mills sat wringing her hands nervously as each second progressed closer to the end of the game. And as each second passed she saw as her son’s hope at playing slowly dwindle with each tick of the game clock. “He’s not going to play,” she voiced saddened as she watched her little prince slump on the bench.

 

“There is still enough time.” Kathryn responded trying her hand at optimism.

 

“Not enough. Just under three minutes left.” The thought of consoling her son after yet another game that he has not played, after yet another year he has been looked over, was tying the woman’s stomach into knots. “He is going to be devastated.”

 

“Yes he will be but I'm sure a milkshake from Granny’s will cheer him up. And if that does not work then I am sure that the surprise will.”

 

Regina huffed, “I just wish Leroy would give him a chance.” She glared at the back of the offending coach, “you would think as a once prolific drunk he would know how not to make bad decisions by now,” she mumbled growing more agitated the more she thought about the stunted man.

 

Kathryn smiled at the sight of her friend getting worked up. After years of friendship watching a riled Regina still always managed to make her smile. “Henry will get a chance and when he does he is going to make Leroy and the rest of his team realize how utterly stupid they’ve been by not allowing your beautiful boy to play.”

 

“How is it you can be a truly amazing friend one day but another you can be a demon sent from the underworld to torture me into oblivion?”

 

Kathryn’s shinning blue eyes sparkled, “It’s a talent very few are gifted with.”

 

“No doubt you sold your soul to achieve such an irritable quality?”

 

“Oh please. I am a lawyer some say I never had one.”

 

The pair laughed and momentarily forgot about the upsetting disregard of their favorite boy, at least until the whistle blew. Their laughs cut off and their eyes latched onto Henry as he dolefully picked himself off the bench. His mother could care less who won the game she only cared that her son was let down again.

 

“I swear I am going to poison that poor excuse of a coach.”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

“I swear I will rip out his heart.”

 

“You most definitely will not!”

 

“I will discretely slip him his favorite bottle of alcohol and maybe sneak some into his morning coffee then watch as he rapidly descends into alcoholism—”

 

“—Regina—”

 

“—then the team will have no choice but to hire a new coach,” she finished her master plan with a deadly smirk. Missing the look of terror that crossed over Nova’s, Leroy’s longtime girlfriend, face.

 

“Regina!” Kathryn warned again as some of the mayor’s constituents quaked in terror.

 

Regina relented on her deadly effective plans, out loud that is, but in her head the different scenarios to get her son to play his favorite sport played liked a film reel. “Fine. I am going to march over to that vertically challenged little rat and demand that he pull his balding head out of his—”

 

“—Regina the children—”

 

“— _derriere_ and play my son who is way better than that Peter kid. How old is he anyway? The child looks fourteen, much too old to be in a nine to ten year old soccer league.” Enlightenment came to Regina that did not involve ruining a man’s life, “I will report that Peter kid, as he is much too old, and Leroy will have no choice but to play my Henry.”

 

“No you are going to calm down. Remember you are one strike away from being banned from coming to the games all together.”

 

Regina harrumphed at the threat of being banned. She would like to see them try to keep her from supporting her boy. She owned the town. It was absolutely preposterous to think the referee held any power over whether or not the mayor could attend a game, even if he happens to be the sheriff.

 

“I remember your first and second strike all too well Madam Mayor and I am sure Henry does as well. He was thoroughly embarrassed.” Kathryn continued to attempt to reason with her best friend. “Remember the teasing he endured from his teammates? He does not need Mama Bear to be unleashed and to come save him he only needs your support.”

 

Kathryn was right of course but Regina did not want to hear that she wanted a solution on how to get her son to be able to play the game he truly loved and a chance to prove how hard he had been working on improving. She almost stormed at Leroy regardless but the memories of her two prior “outbursts” surfaced and the sight of one fuming mayor, an equally fuming child-sized man, one tomato red Henry, and several laughing teammates was enough to dissuade her of the notion.

 

Making their way to the parking lot with the other parents, the wide berth they were giving Regina went ignored as the duo waited for Henry at Regina’s Mercedes. During the wait Regina fretted over the state of mind Henry will be in when he finally comes to meet them. She just wanted her boy to be happy and Leroy was ensuring that his happiness would not occur. Maybe she did need to enact one of her plans…

 

“Henry will be fine Mama Bear. He has the best mother the world could offer and the best surprise that you have sitting in your purse. He will not stay sad forever. Besides he will get to see his idol.”

 

Regina and Kathryn exchanged worried glances at the thought of his idol. They hadn’t yet had the chance to discuss the fact that they were going to see _her_ but now was definitely not the time. The glances exchanged were a promise of all they had to discuss before they brought Henry to see Emma Swan’s game. “That’s what I'm worried about.”

 

Kathryn gave the worrying mother a look that said “not here.” Henry had a way of finding out things he should not know about. He was a curious boy and they had to be careful.

 

“I know you cannot wait to see his smile when you tell him.” Kathryn blatantly settled on a topic that could be discussed in the open and not behind closed doors with two bottles of wine and deep feelings of regret for what went wrong.

 

A nod and a pathetic twitch of a smile told Kathryn that the mother was still fretting. The elephant in the room was becoming oppressive for the two friends and neither could continue to avoid the subject for much longer.

 

The saddened boy was walking their way looking exactly like the time he found out Santa wasn’t real when he was seven because of a blonde big mouth that Regina had the nerve to call her greatest friend.

 

“There he is!” the blonde big mouth shouted. “I'm telling you Henry; you plus cleats plus shin guards equals one attractive Stud. May all interested parties watch out! Henry Mills is dressed to kill!”

 

Henry tried for a smile but other than a slight upturning of his lips he remained sullen. He entered the backseat without a word.

 

The drive to Granny’s was a silent affair. The only sound that stirred from the sulking boy was when he decided to take his cleats off and put on more practical shoes. The blonde in the passenger began sulking when she caught a whiff of the boy’s shin guards. Even though he did not get to play it did not stop the stench from spreading through the car.

 

Mama Bear swallowed her reprimand as her son was hurting and that was the only reason he didn’t remember the rule to never take his soccer stuff off in her prized car. It never ceased to amaze her how truly horrendous his gear smells in spite of his lack of play.

 

Yet, the smell does not hold a candle to the truly gag inducing smell of Emma’s gear after her old games.

 

Regina froze. That traitorous thought is best left until her and Kathryn can talk about what they have been avoiding for years. Of course accompanied by at least a whole bottle of her hard cider and agonizing feelings of guilt.

 

“It’s going to be okay dear.” Regina consoled from the drivers seat letting her mind focus on her boy instead of…

 

“You said that last year.”

 

The accusation in his tone was heard loud and clear. She was his mother and when she said things would be okay they had damn better be. Only it wasn’t okay because Henry did not get his dream of playing in yet another game. Even though this was the last game for a couple of months she could still do something to convince Leroy. Even if she knew that she really couldn’t. And that really only spurred her to want to do something even more.

 

“I know I did. We just have to keep working on it and next year Leroy will have no other choice but to play you.”

 

Henry’s soft voice mumbled, “you said that last year too.”

 

Again the thought of that too old Peter kid swam through her head. He really shouldn’t be on the team. Maybe an anonymous tip would see to his disposal from the team.

 

“I know I did but sometimes people have to work harder than others to get what they want.”

 

“I don’t want to play anymore.”

 

Regina slammed on the brakes harder than necessary as she went to park in front of their destination and turned her head with enough force to cause whiplash. “What?” Surely he must have been mistaken. The same boy who woke up in the middle of the night when her and Kathryn were watching one of Emma’s games and demanded in the same breath that he was her biggest fan and that he wanted to play like her.

 

“I'm not good enough. I just don’t want to play anymore.”

 

The defeated tone in her son’s voice caused Regina’s shoulders to sag. She looked to Kathryn for help. “Hen, you can’t quit you love soccer.”

 

“Football,” he corrected almost instinctively.

 

Another thing he picked up from his love of Emma Swan. The women can still remember when she used to correct them about the term. “It’s not soccer it is football. Honestly, you play with your freaking feet. It's impossible to equate this game to a bunch of lumbering steroidal men tackling each other.”

 

Kathryn continued to try and reason with the sulking boy. “You can’t quit because it’s hard or because things are not going your way. Your mom raised you better than that, you have to persevere.”

 

“Exactly.” Regina easily agreed. Kathryn was right and although she would not admit it to the woman in fear of her ego growing any larger but she usually has sound advice. “Don’t Stop Believin’!”

 

“Mom? Did you just quote Journey at me?”

 

“I don’t know what you're talking about dear.” The sparkle in her eye and the smile twitching at her lips proved otherwise.

 

With a scrutinizing look that met doe-eyed innocence from his mother, Henry laughed at the look that was unbelievable on his mother’s face. “Whatever. Let’s go eat. Keeping the bench warm has made me hungry.”

 

“Anything makes you hungry. It’s a wonder your stomach hasn’t driven your mother to bankruptcy.” Kathryn snarked.

 

And Henry snarked back, “I'm a growing boy sue me.”

 

The trio made their way into the diner to the tune of the ringing bell announcing their presence.

 

In the booth in the back of the diner Henry sat across from his mother and aunt. “Is Uncle Fred coming?”

 

“No. He is tied up at the site. I believe he said something about the structure being unstable.”

 

“Is it the castle again?” Regina asked, not so secretly hoping that it isn’t.

 

“Yes. Fred thinks that they might have to tear it down.”

 

The words hit Regina’s heart with a ferocity that threatened her composure and without a doubt Kathryn’s as well. Both knew the importance of that structure. Regina’s panicked eyes met those of a woman she has known since childhood and her longtime friend was resigned to the news. It seemed she must have been keeping that bit of news from Regina for a while.

 

“I used to go there all the time. Are you sure it can’t be saved?”

 

“Frederick was certain that they most likely would be unable to save it.”

 

“Oh.” The departure of Henry’s sullen mood was brief but threatening to reappear as he thought about the castle that was often his safe haven.

 

“How would you like a milkshake?” She was not above bribing her son to get him out of his moods. She knew it. He knew it. More often than not he capitalized on it.

 

With a quick “yeah” he took off for the counter, where Granny was tending the bar, to order his favored treat.

 

“When he returns are you ready to tell him of his surprise?”

 

The blonde grimaced. “Do you mean am I ready to dig up years of history between you, me and Emma?” The question was rhetorical but Regina answered with a slight nod regardless. “No. I'm not ready.” Her usual sunny and boisterous attitude was abandoned and Kathryn allowed for her unease to shine through. Twisting the ring on her left ring finger as her thoughts traveled to a time where they weren’t so broken. “But it has been long enough.”

 

_Yes, it has been long enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:
> 
> 1-Regina is definitely a mama bear
> 
> 2-If you've never played soccer/football then know that soccer gear smell is the worst! Also goalie/keeper gloves takes the cake as the worst smell you ever did smell! Not even joking.
> 
> 3-Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings!
> 
> This chapter is shorter than normal. This is just a little boost into the action filled chapter coming up next.
> 
> Enjoy.

After their respective meals were finished and the topic on the tip of their tongues carefully avoided until the precise moment, Regina found herself at a loss of words.

 

As someone with an extensive background in both the Spanish and English language, she even dabbled in French, the sudden inability to articulate came as more than a mere shock. It astounded her and frightened her in a way she has never been before or at least since her mother was still living.

 

She knew everything had the possibility of turning on its head and she was not quite ready for that. The lives Regina and Kathryn carefully molded around the weighted shadow of a past with Emma will crack. And she did not think that they are quite ready for the madness that is surely to follow the burdensome gift she is about to bestow upon her perfect little prince.

 

Granny, who had came to sit with the group after Ashley had cleared their plates away, cleared her throat and threw a warning look at two women over the tip of her glasses. She let the two women prepare themselves as well as call them cowards in the same grandmotherly no-nonsense wiser-than-all look. It was both frightening and sheltering.

 

Something that described Granny impeccably.

 

Damn, Regina knew the old harpy too well.

 

Granny turned her wizened form towards Henry, in order to allow her to speak to his face as apposed to his ear. Her expression was firm and solemn; another description that suited the woman perfectly. “I found my granddaughter, Henry.”

 

Henry was able to raise his eyebrows in just the beginning of excitement before the old woman continued in a manner that was straightforward, clear-cut and almost painfully blunt.

 

“As it turns out she plays for that team you love The Boston Beakers or whatever.”

 

Henry’s eyebrows nearly went into his hairline as he froze in a suspended state of shock at the news.

 

And Granny continued on gruff and lukewarm.

 

“I’ll have you know that I’ve been in communication with Ruby Lucas and—”

 

Henry’s eyebrows rose and threatened to disappear into his thick dark hair and his mouth formed a perfect “O.”

 

“—she gifted me with four tickets to their game. Seeing as the diner has been busy I am needed here. So I am giving them to you—”  


 

Henry was squealing and it was such a high-pitched noise that has never been heard by humans before.

 

 “—your mother, the blonde one and her husband.” Granny finished despite not being heard by the raving boy.

 

The entirety of the dinner turned to Henry’s screeches of, “are you serious?” and “we’re going right?” even “am I dreaming? I might be dreaming!”

 

The two previous nerve-racked women smiled at the excited boy and their misgivings were forgotten. For now.

 

His screams reached new levels as Regina reached into her purse and pulled out a plan white envelope. Henry reverently reached for the proffered envelope with a slight tremor in his hands. Contents spread on the table before him and Henry’s breath hitched as he read over the tickets.

 

“This is really happening.” He breathlessly murmured as he ran his fingertips over the tickets. His eyes were shinning and his smile was huge as he looked at each occupant of the table and thanked them profusely for the tickets.

 

“Wait Henry. There is something else.” Kathryn said finding herself swept up in joy of it all. Her smile was mischievous as she took a dramatic pause and delighted in his energetic bouncing. Slowly and with the impish grin still dominating her face Kathryn freed another envelope from Regina’s purse but not without a signature eye roll from Regina first.

 

Henry looked on the verge of snatching the envelope from his aunt instead he impatiently waited as anticipation rocked through him.

 

At last it was placed in his hands and not a second later the contents emptied. Another of Henry’s shrieking cheers echoed through the diner. The diner’s occupants were watching the spectacle of the joyous boy with beaming smiles on their faces as Henry’s innocence and the beauty that was his smiling face captivated them.

 

“LOCKER ROOM PASSES TO VISIT THE BOSTON BREAKERS! I GET TO MEET THEM!”

 

Granny had long since shuffled away from the eardrum-shattering boy but not without mumbles of, “the importance of library voices” and “he’s lucky his face is good for business.”

 

“DO YOU THINK I’LL GET TO MEET EMMA SWAN?”

 

It warmed Regina’s heart to see Henry so happy at the prospect of visiting his hero. He had been so downtrodden lately with his soccer woes that she only realized that he hasn’t been this happy since before the start of the short spring soccer season. Now she only has a couple of months to convince him not to quit before the summer league starts but she remained unsure. If playing soccer did not make him as happy as the chance to see Emma Swan, was he right in deciding not to play any longer? Or would his decision not to play result in him regretting ever making that choice?

 

One thing was certain to Regina in that moment: Henry’s happiness revolved around Emma.

 

For Henry her resolve to face her past strengthened.

 

“When do we leave?”

 

Regina was too busy admiring the bright excited eyes of her son whom looked so much like his father in that moment to answer, as the sight both tore at and mended her heart.

 

“Now.” Kathryn answered for Regina.

 

Henry jumped sideways out of the booth and flew across the diner and out of the door in record time. The bell at the top of the door rang manically from the force he exerted to leave the diner. Just as the bell was slowing down to soft chiming rings the door was yet again opened as a wide-eyed nine year-old came storming back in and slid to an ungraceful stop by gripping the edge of the table for balance. He reached over snatching the tickets and passes from the table and once again heading for the door.

 

“Come on!” He shouted over his shoulder at his stationary mother and aunt.

 

Kathryn took a deep calming breath and pushed her blonde hair from her face, a nervous tick. Without the beaming sun that was Henry a biting chill swept up in his wake and ran through the woman. As the thought of seeing Emma again left her numb and cold.

 

Regina gently wiped a tear from Kathryn’s eyes. Out of the two of them Kathryn had the most to fear and regret. Regina had no doubt that it was weighing heavily on the woman and for Henry she put on a brave face. Maybe, for her as well.

 

Kathryn smiled and wiped the remaining tears from her face. Standing she looked down at Regina, offering a smile that was slightly too big and too enthusiastic to be real.

 

“Let’s not keep your son waiting.”

 

A tiny smile was offered along with a nod of her head before Regina too slipped out of the booth.

 

“I propose we get a speed radar and mark how fast she will run away from us.” Kathryn jested.

 

Regina laughed good naturally at her attempt of levity. Although it was obviously forced and was so close to the truth it nearly left them cringing from the sting of it.

 

The pair walked slowly shoulder-to-shoulder, occasionally brushing the other in a feigned attempt of making it look like an accident, drawing what strength they could from the other.

 

Together, and with the shared weight of their mistakes, they walked to Regina’s already packed car where a dancing Henry was anxiously waiting for the two women.

 

Settled in and making their way for the town border Henry, Regina and Kathryn headed for Boston, a soccer game, and Emma Swan.

 

Ultimately, facing their past, improving the present and hoping for a better future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things:
> 
> 1-The Boston Breakers is a real professional soccer team.
> 
> 2-Stay tuned, the shitstorm is approaching in the next chapter. It will be a super long one.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck for taking so long to update. So stay tuned for a new update tomorrow as an apology.
> 
> This chapter ended up being so long I had to split it into three parts. Also, the soccer au-ish tag makes more of an appearance. I made it as simple as possible for those of you who don't know the sport so well. You don't need to, to be able to read this. But it will have more prominent scenes later on.
> 
> Disclaimer in Chapter 1.
> 
> Enjoy.

The April sun beat down on the foursome. Regina, Kathryn, Henry and Frederick sat in the stands waiting for the game to start.

 

Frederick, who was working when the trio left Storybrooke met up with the others at the entrance to the stadium. He was prepared to support his wife through this entire ordeal and enjoy a quality game.

 

Henry, who had eagerly and impatiently been waiting for this game, barely slept the night before. All night he ran through what he was going to say to the football players, Emma Swan especially. The chance to see them play in person and speak to them after their game was too good to be true for the young boy. He even convinced his mother to allow him to make a sign that morning. So jumping around excitedly and waving his sign that proclaimed: _Emma Swan = Savior_. 

 

Regina, who had spent the previous night drinking with Kathryn and allowing herself after so many years to freely talk about Emma, managed to let most of her worries go and focus on her son instead. Her little prince was practically glowing as he took in the soccer field and waited for the game to start. All the worries and even the anger that revolved around Emma were pushed to the back of her mind as she let herself enjoy the beautiful day, the soccer game and even the rabid fans; one of which was a raving nine year old dressed in every Boston Breaker item of clothing he owned (and had her buy).

 

Kathryn on the other hand, who had spent the previous night drinking _too_ much and fighting back tears as they spoke of everything Emma, felt queasy as she got closer and closer to seeing Emma. Although that feeling could be attributed to the slight hangover she had. She was not soothed by Frederick running calming circles over her back or an excitable Henry and definitely not by a frightening calm Regina. She could practically feel the pressure that was building and she worried about the state all of them would be in after the pressure finally becomes too much and something—or someone—erupts.

 

The supporters for the Boston Breakers erupted as the team took the field. Fans were painted in blue and waving their flags emblazoned with the Breakers’ symbol of a wave crashing over a football. Henry soared, jumping up and down in hopes of his sign being seen. Even Frederick hooted a couple times in excitement of the oncoming game.

 

Collectively they caught sight her.

 

Shining in her blue uniform.

 

Yellow hair turned golden by the sun was swinging majestically like some slow-motion Pantene commercial.

 

She turned.

 

Four collective gasps were drowned out by the pandemonium of fans.

 

One of those gasps came from Frederick who just saw the cleats Emma was wearing and vowed to buy a pair in his size.

 

The second and the most excited gasp came from Henry who finally was able to see his hero in the flesh. Now he could not wait until he is able talk to her after the game. This has been all he has ever dreamed about and finally those dreams will come true by the end of the day.

 

Another of those gasps came from Kathryn as she took in everything about Emma she could. Her eyes scanned over Emma searching for any sign that she was not okay. She was elated at the fact that she looked genuinely happy but she could not help the way her heart sank a little bit that Emma was okay without her. Better even. Were they right in digging up the past, as this visit was bound to do? Or were they better off without each other but knowing that a piece of them was missing and could possibly never be replaced? She supposed, that they would indeed find out.

 

Lastly, the gasp that held more shock and wonder came from Regina as she saw a woman that was definitely not the gangly teen she had last seen. She had to swallow a few times to relieve her dry throat as she became positively flushed at the sight of a grinning, older, and _toned_ Emma Swan. Regina did not see a kid anymore and that realization along with her reaction to it scared her.

 

* * *

 

 

Leaving the locker room to the deafening noise of the crowd caused a megawatt smile to shine on Emma’s beaming face. The new football season has finally started and it felt like a weight has been taken off her shoulders. Football had always been freeing for her even when it felt like the world was collapsing around her.

 

It had always been her safe haven.

 

She felt invigorated as she was greeted with the fans in their blue that resembled the waving seas. As she waved to the assembled fans she allowed for the shouted praises and encouragements from the home fans to fill her up and give her life. Something it seemed she was lacking since the end of the last season. The fans gave her everything, even if they would never know it; approval, acceptance and feeling that she was doing something right.

 

She found peace in the screaming of the supporters, the clapping of hundreds of hands and she closed her eyes and relished in it, all the while with a giant serene grin on her face.

 

She relished in the calm and peace it brought her and most importantly the sense of belonging it gave her.

 

Something she has not felt outside of football in years.

 

Emma was nudged on her shoulder and before she opened her eyes she knew who it was.

 

“Ready for this Swan?”

 

She looked to her right and met sparkling blue eyes and an infectious smile from the loudest and most suggestive woman on the team, Ruby Lucas. If it was allowed for her to cut up her uniform into short shorts and a halter-top, Emma had no doubt that Ruby would indeed do it.

 

“I’ve been waiting since the end of last season. What do you think? I live for this.”

 

“You really do.” Ruby mumbled under her breath.

 

The crowd was loud but not loud enough to cover the sound of Ruby’s words. Emma heard and saw the bitter expression that crossed over her face. Emma hid her grimace at the thought of Ruby still holding resentment towards her and pretended that her words were inaudible over the cheering of the fans like Ruby intended for them to be.

 

The two teams the Boston Breakers and the Portland Thorns shook hands then jogged to their respective sides of the field to warm-up for the start of the game in a couple of minutes.

 

In the middle of her usual pre-game warm-up Ruby stopped. She glanced back at their goalkeeper, Tamara Bowman, then met Emma’s eyes and winked; the hint of bitterness from earlier gone as soon as it appeared.

 

“So,” the loud football player started, “I heard the Thorns betting that Tamara gets scored on twice today. Anyone want to bet instead that Bowman doesn’t get scored on for the whole season?”

 

Ruby’s voiced carried to the whole team, including Tamara.

 

They heard Tamara’s patented scoff that said in one disbelieving exhalation of air; just what she thought of the idea. “Stuff it Lucas. You’re going to lose all your money.”

 

“Only if you don’t use your dragon skills to help me out a little bit.”

 

“Don’t let the nickname fool you. I'm good but I'm not magic.”

 

It was one of many horribly kept secrets on the team that Ruby believed the team would always win if Tamara scoffed twice before the game starts.

 

One down.

 

Ruby looked to Emma for help.

 

She rolled her eyes at her friend’s quirk. But she helped as always. The relationship between her and Tamara was difficult to quantify at times but she almost always got a scoff from the goalkeeper.

 

“Not magic? I think that depends on who you ask.” Emma bantered at the straight-faced woman.

 

Tamara smirked at Emma’s more than apparent sexual innuendo. Of course she knew exactly what they wanted but damn it if she wasn’t at least going to make them work for it. She doesn’t just hand out her particular brand of sass in the form of a multipurpose scoff on a whim. It had to be earned.

 

Unintimated by the devious smirk that looked downright terrifying on Tamara’s face because not only has she received that look on multiple occasions but also because Emma knew one of the best-kept secrets on the team. Tamara was a big softie. Yet Emma knew better than to spill this secret because she also happened to be a big meanie.

 

The two were cut from the same cloth and as unlikely and surprising as it might seem the women got along famously, oftentimes better than her and Ruby. Tamara who could be so charismatic at times, that it was a wonder people didn’t bow at her feet, was mostly a quiet teasing woman whose calculating stare could cut through those it penetrated. Emma while mostly withdrawn and emotionally stunted was only her most outgoing self on the football field—and even that wasn’t saying much.

 

The two had a shared understanding of the other that united them; Tamara wouldn’t ask questions Emma would not answer and Emma wouldn’t push the mysterious woman for answers to her own questions.

 

“Be careful of the side you are choosing Swan. You might have to start watching your back.”

 

“The only temping option here is that _you_ start watching it for _me_.” Emma added a saucy grin that made her look queasy and waggled her brows in parody of a guy she used to know.

 

Suffice it to say: the look had the desired effect.

 

The second scoff thrown Emma’s way was bordering somewhere between annoyance and amusement. Somehow it managed to sound like the beginning of a laugh and a huff of exasperation.

 

As Ruby cheered at achieving her second good luck scoff and as the rest of the team were enjoying the spectacle that took place before each game, Emma watched as Tamara turned away to hide the smile that was developing.

 

Such a softie.

 

The referee blew his whistle to signal the impending start of the game. He waved the team captains to the center of the field.

 

“Time to win ladies!” Ruby shouted at her teammates.

 

The women hooted in agreement and took their assigned positions on the field.

 

“So who is betting with me on Bowman?” Ruby asked of her teammates.

 

Already on her way to meet the referee and the Thorns’ team captain, Emma shook her head at the lark Ruby was apparently serious about.

 

The Portland Thorns were a good team made up of slightly better than decent players and one spectacular player; Tia Bellamy.

 

Or Tinkerbelle. The name she is by far more recognized by.

 

Small, blonde, and a force to be reckoned with.

 

Also, it has not been confirmed nor denied that Tinkerbelle may or may not have magic.

 

There haven’t been any confirmed sightings of pixie dust but the woman seemed to float across the field that often left her opponents thinking that maybe Tink was a fairy in another life.

 

Tink was their main concern. If they could stop the ball from getting to her than the game was theirs.

 

Thorns had possession of the ball first. 

 

Tia Bellamy was immediately passed the ball. She was power in tiny legs and mean determination. She was a powerhouse in a tiny frame with a skill for the ball that often left her opponents stumbling after the deceptively strong woman.

 

The Breakers planned for this, they knew the Thorns’ strategy. Coach practically drilled it into them in practice. Contain Tinkerbelle and the Thorns would become stagnant. It was no secret that when Tink didn’t play the team more often than not lost. It was a blinding weakness the team had. They were chickens with their heads cut off without her.

 

The plan was simple; ensure that Tink was not a factor.

 

Executing the plan was _not_ simple.

 

Practically flying down the field with two of the Breakers’ players rapidly closing in, Tink cut right then seemed to flutter about their midfielder, Tiana. Tiana stuck her leg out to steal the ball but the ball was already long past that spot, leaving Tiana off-balance and Tink already speeding past.

 

Tinkerbelle indeed.

 

Mulan cut an intimating figure as her long legs carried at a breakneck speed towards the ball. She overtook Tink, slight running faster than the smaller woman. Before Tink could pass it to her nearby teammate Mulan challenged her, both women vying for the ball that was directly ahead of them. With Mulan’s impressive head over the fearsome shrimp that was Tink, she used her long legs to kick the ball away from Tink and to Belle’s waiting feet.

 

The Thorns were aggressive, they left no time for analyzing the game and taking stock of any openings.

 

Unlucky for them the Breakers were exactly that team.

 

* * *

 

 

The four from Storybrooke watched the ongoing game with a rabid enthusiasm as the Breakers gained possession of the ball.

 

Even caught up in the excitement of the game did not keep Regina from watching Henry from the corner of her eyes. The horrified, panicked way he shouted for the Breakers to stop Tink before she got too far downfield and the cheering like a maniac hyped-up on sugar (the same maniac cheering when he opens presents on Christmas) when Mulan got Tink to lose possession of the ball.

 

Watching her son get swept up in the elation of the crowd as he cheered for Emma was beautiful.

 

It filled something in her that she didn’t know was empty.

 

It _felt_ right.

 

Emma was passed the ball and Regina found herself cheering along with her son.

 

The pure elation at watching Emma play her favorite sport, in person, was all-consuming for Regina. She remembered how hard Emma worked at it. She knew it was partly because she felt like it was the only thing she had and partly because she loved the sport and the intensive running required.

 

The way Emma moved with the ball was mesmerizing.

 

Her skill with the ball captivated Regina. It was like a extension of her body. She knew where it was going to be without sparing a single glance toward the moving ball. It moved perfectly in tuned with her feet; a perfectly elaborate and skillful dance.

 

Emma easily skirted defenders without any challenge, she moved the ball around them so easily it was like the opposing team’s feet were stuck to the field.

 

_Graceful,_ floated through Regina’s mind as easily and effortlessly as Emma soccer talent.

 

Regina found she quite liked the feeling of appreciation that flooded through her.

 

And, it _felt_ right.

 

Riveted as she was to watching the talents of Emma’s skillful feet and the ball that moved along them like air was nothing compared to how engrossed, absorbed, immersed and enthralled she was with the rippling of her wonderfully tone muscled body. The flexing her arms as she pumped them along with her run, the stretching and pulling of muscles in her thighs that her short team shorts did nothing to hide and high socks wrapped around solid and unyielding calves.

 

It all left her rather hot—

 

—because the sun was blazing down upon her with a vengeance and the cheering has simply left her overheated.

 

But, did it ever _feel_ right.

 

Emma shot down the field like a bullet from a gun. Several of the Thorns were trying to catch up but Emma was a force to be reckoned with. With one last defender before Emma would be faced with goalkeeper and the opportunity to make a goal, she passed the ball.

 

It was a high arching pass that landed in front of Ruby Lucas’ feet.

 

The defenders were so focused in on the potential threat of Emma Swan that they failed to notice Ruby making pace to the far right of her.

 

Ruby curved some to draw a little more center with the goal then shot the ball with the precision of a marksman.

 

It fired through the top left of the goal just stretching too far for the goalkeeper’s hands.

 

The crowd erupted into wolf howls led by Ruby herself (who, as Henry claims is part wolf).

 

Said wolf was picked up in a congratulatory hug by Emma and Regina found herself enjoying the way Emma’ s biceps carried Ruby Lucas’ weight.

 

Damn the sun for making her so hot.

 

The game progressed at a rapid pace after that.

 

The Breakers almost scored another goal curtsy of Wendy Darling.

 

Tink scored a goal to the utter disappointment of the fans and to the utter fury of Tamara that left her fuming so much so that Regina thought fire was going to incinerate the tiny blonde woman.

 

Dragon indeed.

 

Emma scored in the last few remaining minutes of the game.

 

The roar of the crowd was deafening.

 

The beam of her smile was blinding.

 

The horror that was her celebratory swan dance was hypnotizing.

 

* * *

 

 

“Alright ladies head to the showers you smell worst than my ex-wife’s breath in the morning.”

 

Tamara scoffed. “Which one?”

 

“Yeah Walsh. You marry every girl you meet.” Emma added at their coach’s expense.

 

Their simian looking coach, who had a penchant for magic tricks, ignored their comments and shouted to the team, “in thirty minutes we have a meet-and-greet with the fans, so I expect you clean and presentable by then. I expect smiles—I’m looking at you Mulan—and positive attitudes— _Tamara!_ ”

 

One last scoff was heard before the players disappeared into the showers.

 

* * *

 

 

Henry was bouncing on his feet as he waited impatiently at the locker room doors. For the whole hour wait the boy wouldn’t stop fidgeting. His excited voice rambled at speeds not yet discovered about what he would say to the Boston Breakers players and most importantly Emma Swan. His eyes took in everything; the other fans lining up after them, the guards standing beside the doors, the view of the football field so close he could practically play on it, and the turning of the handles on the door.

 

Henry jumps up and down all the while pointing at the moving handles. “It’s opening. It’s opening.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Planning on taking home a lucky woman, Em?” Ruby asked, with curiosity that was brimming with something more.

 

“ _Yeah Em_. Planning on seducing more women and flirting dangerously with STDs?” Wendy Darling sneered with a vehement and baseless hatred for anything and everything Emma.

 

“Put a sock in it _Darling,_ ” the Dragon, Tamara, voiced as she came walking by. “You're just jealous because the one person you're seducing is not seducing _you_ but your brother. How _are_ Michael and Felix doing? Were you invited to the wedding? It was a _darling_ affair.”

 

The Dragon left Wendy singeing in her wake.

 

Darling Wendy walked away red-face and heated to greet the fans spilling into the locker room with a fake smile and thinly veiled anger.

 

Ruby bowed to Tamara’s back. “She is a goddess, I swear. A fire-breathing-I-am-going-to-look-sexy-as-I-kill-you goddess.” Ruby turned her saucy smirk back to her target. “As I was saying; are you on the prowl?”

 

“As if you don’t already know the answer.” Emma rolled her eyes at her teammate humorlessly.

 

Ruby always probed. Over and over again. As if she needed to know every facet of everyone’s life in order to survive. Because of that her and the immensely private woman clashed from time to time. Emma suspects the only reason the two have remained friends for so long was because of Ruby’s incredible ability to never hold grudges.

 

She seemed to accept that Emma would not share details about her life unless forced and even then she had to be significantly drunk. Still Ruby continued to try and resolutely Emma rarely caved.

 

Rolling her eyes just as humorlessly back Ruby relaxed against the wall. They were tucked away at the back of the locker rooms close to the showers where their lockers were located. Secluded as they were the fans swarming into the locker rooms were far enough away that the only sound that reached them was the hums of the many voices.

 

Ruby took advantage of the privacy to further question Emma despite her apparent frustration at her prying.

 

“So are you going to answer the question?”

 

“I don’t know. Are you going to stop asking questions you already know the answers to?”

 

“Do I?”

 

Emma shut her locker. The bang of it closing was the only sound heard between the two as Emma stared at the persistent Ruby and wondered how they became friends in the first place.

 

“Yes, you do.” Emma groaned out. “I haven’t been on the _prowl_ since Lily.”

 

“Ah yes Lily.” Ruby taps her head as if she was just remembering something she in fact never forgot in the first place. “How are you two and your weird ass relationship?”

 

“It’s not weird it’s open,” Emma defended against Ruby’s all too often judgments.

 

“Ah yes, you're weird ass relationship is _open._ ” Ruby exaggerated the word as if it had never come out of her mouth before. “By open do you mean that you sleep with whoever you want when Lily is out of town while she remains devoted to you.”

 

“Where the hell is this coming from?” She was defensive now. Squaring her shoulders, raising her head and frowning at Ruby. Her abrasive attitude came out of nowhere and Emma was not appreciating it. “If you’re mad at me say it, don’t tiptoe around it.” Emma was glaring now.

 

“I think this weird ass relationship—”

 

“Call it that one more time, Lucas. It’s _ours_ not yours. And just so you know Lily embraces our relationship just as much as I do. Besides, you don’t have any right to judge. Especially with your _weird ass relationship_ with Belle.” A devilish smirk appeared on her face as she watched Ruby tense then push away from the wall she was so casually leaning against.

 

If Ruby wanted to push buttons and bypass boundaries; fine.

 

Emma could too.

 

“Enlighten me. Does the fifty year old she’s married to know that you two are _screwing_? Or maybe his son that she’s mothering? Get off your high horse, it’s lower than you think.”

 

Ruby actually looked like she was going to pounce on Emma and rip her to shreds. Her lips curled back over her teeth as she perfectly mimicked the wolves she was so fond of.

 

“The difference between the two of us, _Swan,_ is that I actually love Belle. I'm not engaging in some pretend relationship because being with Lily is easier than picking up chicks at bars. Our relationship is more complicated than that and if you were a true friend you would know that or at least have asked.” A step forward brought her closer to her opponent. “Not _all_ of us walk over every woman we come across, we actually hold some regard for what the other is feeling.”

 

The bitterness of that statement left Emma’s face scrunching from the ill taste of it.

 

“Is th-this about what happened between us?”

 

“No!”

 

The resounding ‘no’ from Ruby only confused Emma. Obviously she was missing something because she was clueless as to why this argument started in the first place.

 

“Swan! Lucas!”

 

The two contesting friends heard Walsh’s voice before they saw him. He rounded the corner and stood before them with his hands on his hips attempting to look like a stern nun. But with his stringy brown hair and gangly, awkward limbs he did not cut an impressive figure as he might have wished.

 

“There are fans out there waiting for the two of you. The two of you may be the best players on the team—”

 

The sound of a scoff reached their ears.

 

Walsh forged on. “—but that does not mean you get to skip out on team events. I want both of you out there. Now.”

 

There were times when they often joked with Walsh and he would joke back just as ridiculously but there were also times when he was being serious and he expected to be listened to.

 

When he turned on his heel and expected them to follow, they knew he was completely serious.

 

Lagging behind but following nonetheless Ruby and Emma still felt the tension that was between them. Something that sprung up suddenly but always seemed to last for long periods. Until it was swept under the rug and never addressed again.

 

Emma often wondered how long it would take until they could no longer brush aside the problems in their friendship.

 

“Either Tamara has this placed bugged or her scoffs have perfect timing.” Ruby joked, attempting to alleviate the current tension.

 

As always it was Ruby making the effort to fix things between them.

 

Emma chuckled.

 

The sound of her forced chuckle faded and was replaced with the humming voices of fans and players mingling.

 

“So, is your newfound grandmother going to be impressed with her talented granddaughter’s skill out there today?”

 

Emma asked trying to disintegrate the awkwardness that was hanging like a fog between them. Get Ruby talking and it would be all too easy to get their friendship in a friendlier direction.

 

The slight smile was what finally broke the tension.

 

“I wish. She strikes me as a woman that is not easily impressed. Granny couldn’t make it. She runs her own business that apparently her small town cannot live without.”

 

“Granny?” Emma asked trying for nonchalant but coming out as more than intrigued and slightly panicked.

 

“Yeah. She said the whole town calls her that. Seems like she grandmothers the whole town.”

 

Emma’s step faltered. Yet Ruby didn’t noticed as she was lost in the mass of ogling fans and Emma was left thinking that surely it was a coincidence.

 

A lot of grandmothers preferred to be called ‘Granny.’

 

Right?

 

Simply coincidental that Ruby has a grandmother that goes by ‘Granny’ that owns her own business in a town that she acts like a surrogate grandmother to all its inhabitants.

 

As her head ran through the possibilities of the Granny she knows being Ruby’s grandmother caused her to zigzag from elation to horror. Robotically she signed posters of the team and distantly engaged in conversation all the while convincing herself that coincidences happen and that she shouldn’t read more into it.

 

A scream of unadulterated excitement erupted through the locker room. Then the shout of, “EMMA SWAN!” was heard over the many other voices talking.

 

A small gangly boy with a head of brown hair was making his way toward her. The boy’s smile was so huge that it took up nearly half of his face. It looked like the small kid was itching to sprint through the locker room but tan hands held him to a slow walk of navigating through the bodies.

 

Emma smiled at the approaching boy that looked all too familiar. As she waited for the kid’s approach her eyes followed the hands at his shoulders up to thin arms, perfect curves and narrow shoulders. Then lastly up to her face.

 

Emma baulked as she took in the beauty that was before her. Her eyes roaming over enrapturing brown eyes, tumbling shoulder length brown hair, and inviting lips with a slight scar above them that in no way marred the flawless face.

 

Regina.

 

Looking back at the boy straining against the woman’s hands and she realized why he was so familiar. Years older but still a beautiful boy.

 

Henry.

 

Broad shoulders edged into her vision and she knew who she was going to see. She followed the Boston Breakers tee shirt up the muscular frame, to a clean-shaven face and sandy brown hair.

 

Frederick.

 

She knew who was left. Shaking her head in refusal to see the person she knew would be there but her eyes had other plans as they looked over the woman on Frederick’s arm.

 

She followed the pale arm gripped around a buff arm up to immaculate features and pale blue eyes. Eyes that seemed to pierce into her and know everything that she had ever tried to hide. They burrow deep into her extracting every pain and soothing the sting.

 

Kathryn.

 

She almost expected Daniel to be there too.

 

It was hot.

 

Too hot.

 

Stifling. Suffocating.

 

Emma pulled at the collar of her button up.

 

She couldn’t breathe. Was there air in the room?

 

Her breath came in panicked pants.

 

Where was the air?

 

The room was closing in on her and the only sound that reached her ears was the sound of her own heart pumping. Too fast and much too loud as it overtook her senses.

 

She had to leave. Escape. She needed oxygen. She needed to cool off.

 

A step backwards soon became four steps before she was turned around completely and headed for the emergency exits by the showers. Seamlessly working through the crowd she somehow managed to become surrounded by.

 

Her process to freedom went unhindered. Effortlessly navigating past people on her way towards her escape. It was not a physical barrier that prevented her escape. No, a physical barrier would be so much easier to bypass and leave behind on her road to freedom from the stifling weight that was barring down on her.

 

What stopped her in her tracks was the sound of a wail. It sounded as if pure agony was condensed in the squeaky shout of, “WAIT!”

 

And how could she not stop?

 

Emma knew one thing: she was always drawn to that kid. Pulled in each and every time by eyes that looked like his father’s and expressions that echoed his mother perfectly.

 

She turned to the kid still fearful and entirely too confined but she endured it for him. Always for him.

 

Emma could still only hear her roaring heartbeat but this time it was because there wasn’t a sound emitted in the locker room as every inhabitant stopped to watch the kid.

 

_Henry_.

 

They parted for the small boy. And he walked through the tunnel of towering adults like he parted the Red Sea.

 

The closer he got to Emma the more pronounced the kid became. Cubby cheeks he had as a baby still apparent and still just as adorable. But what struck her and left her rooted and helpless as the kid came to a stop before her was his eyes. Crystal blue eyes that were almost grey in color. It was eerie how much they looked like his father’s; it momentarily sent her reeling from the look that was so familiar.

 

_Daniel. Henry_.

 

She was suffocating in feelings and memories.

 

“You're Emma Swan.” Henry spoke reverently.

 

Emma could have sworn that her throat swelled up. With no sound emitting from her throat and her lips moving wordlessly, she looked like a fish out of water.

 

And for all intents and purposes she was.

 

No one ever spoke to her in such a way that she could not help but feel like she mattered. Like there was something important about her and he saw every bit of it.

 

“I’m your biggest fan,” the kid vowed.

 

Emma found herself nodding dumbly.

 

“Would you sign my stuff?”

 

At least five posters, two shirts and several other souvenirs were shoved into her hands. Still reeling and not making any move to sign the items in her hands Emma voiced the only word that was floating through the shell-shocked head of hers.

 

“Hi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:
> 
> 1-Tamara is a bigger character in this story than I originally planned but I like that. Also I was super creative with her last name: Bowman. Get it? She was shot by a man(boy) with a bow and arrow. Never mind I thought it was clever.
> 
> 2-I planned this before Maleficent showed up so give me a break. Tamara is a feisty, flaming, lovable dragon.
> 
> 3-More posts within the next couple of days if life doesn't get in the way again.
> 
> Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

“Breathe ladies.” Frederick whispered to Kathryn and Regina.

 

Kathryn did as she was told and let a noisy slightly hitched breath out then blindly searched for her best friend’s trembling hand. Their eyes never once straying from Emma and Henry.

 

But when that rare instance came when she absolutely had to blink lest her eyes shrivel up, the infinitesimal second where her eyes were closed she could see the absolute horror that was on Emma’s face when she saw them.

 

In all her imaginings of this moment not once did Kathryn think that Emma would look at them like she did. Sure Kathryn was so utterly nervous for this day it felt like her heart would falter from the frequency of skipped heartbeats, but it was for what came after that she truly feared. Never Emma.

 

The past had a way of stalking them regardless of how much distance they wanted to put between them and its hovering weight. It was a bloodhound on the scent of them bleeding from the hells of the past. It was a whirlwind with no calm center that tore and ripped up everything in its path, especially them. Any ground they’ve ever gained lost to the multitude of floods that were never held back by forgetting, it would tear away, drown, and then leave them treading water alone and without any hope of getting to shore.

 

Their past was an unresolved tangle of knots the three have never fully attempted to unravel.

 

Emma would run from it until it was too far behind her to even think about.

 

Regina would bury it so deeply that it was practically nonexistent.

 

Kathryn would shield it away with humor and misplaced smiles until the possibly that there was something behind the shields was some far away nightmare that would never reach her.

 

But her imaginings did get one thing correct; Emma would run—or try to.

 

And boy did that hurt.

 

What didn’t hurt though more than made up for did.

 

It didn’t hurt that Emma was playing a sport she loved.

 

It didn’t hurt that she was successful because of it.

 

It didn’t hurt knowing that finally something good was happening for her.

 

It didn’t hurt seeing Emma for the first time in years and seeing that she was brighter than Kathryn ever remembered her being.

 

It didn’t hurt watching her games from the couch in either her or Regina’s living room as they supported her the only way they could; from afar. Besides, wasn’t that how its always been?

 

What hurt, was looking at Emma and realizing how much time had truly passed. Emma was older, sharper in some ways. Taller than she remembered and still thin but not as hollow as she once was as more muscle coated her slender frame.

 

It hurt that they missed her beautiful transition into womanhood because they essentially drove her away.

 

While watching her struggle with Henry’s appearance and adamantly avoiding looking in their direction, Kathryn vowed to herself and to Emma—regardless if she knew or not—that she would never again make the same mistakes with Emma.

 

She would be better.

 

They will be better.

 

Hopefully.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hi.”

 

Painfully aware that the conversations around them still haven’t picked back up yet and several sets of eyes were drilling into her, Emma still couldn’t quite breathe right. Among those eyes, she felt the stares of Kathryn, Regina and Frederick and she was sure their eyes were burring into her trying to suss out any problem that they needed to swarm and fix.

 

God, she needed to run.

 

She needed to run off this weight that was pressing in on her.

 

She needed to run for the freedom she was being denied at the moment.

 

Mostly, she needed to run from this beautiful, wonderful kid that was staring up at her—with eyes that were so much like Daniel’s that it physically hurt to look away from and look into—like she created the world.

 

Henry’s giggle washed over her and she immediately wanted to hear it again.

 

The scrawny kid smiled up at her and it was blinding in its intensity. “Are you going to sign my stuff?”

 

“Oh right.”

 

Henry giggled again when Emma jumped to get his merchandise signed and ended up displacing some of the carefully balanced merchandise resulting in Emma juggling his stuff until it was all perfectly balanced.

 

The sound of his laugh was beautiful.

 

It made her heart ache.

 

“You think that’s funny kid?”

 

He nodded wide-eyed and exuberantly.

 

Emma had a stray thought of if Daniel looked like this as a kid. Or Regina.

 

“Well you better watch it. I’ll hand you off to the Dragon.” Emma leaned forward to deliver an important secret, “I heard she eats kids like you. Especially the giggly ones.” She added with a poke to his stomach that left her struggling to remain holding all his not signed items, and was rewarded with another high-pitched giggle that was apparently the kid’s favorite sound.

 

It was easy. This was easy. It was like chatting with any other fan of hers. She could joke and prod and it would be okay. He was just a fan.

 

He wasn’t.

 

But she could certainly pretend for the duration of his visit. There weren’t three sentinels staring at her as if she came back from the dead. There were just three guardians of Henry—her fan—watching him interact with her.

 

The conversation around the duo picked up much to Emma’s relief. It felt like more air was circulating and it allowed her to breathe easier.

 

Or maybe it was because of a happy Henry that breathing became easier.

 

“That’s not true, Emma.” Henry said with all the patience of a parent correcting a child.

 

“Oh? Are you sure?”

 

Henry nodded then turned to observe Tamara as she interacted with some of her fans.

 

While Henry looked away Emma allowed herself to look at the giant red emergency exit sign that would have been her escape if Henry hadn’t stopped her.

 

Oh, how she was looking at that sign with longing.

 

Henry turned back with a firm nod. “Yes, I am sure. She does not appear to have any side effects resulting from cannibalism such as prion disease or even ulcers.”

 

“ _Ookay_. Kid, that was creepy and very informative. Thanks?”

 

“My mom says I'm very smart for my age. She also says it’s very wise to be informed in all areas.”

 

“Of course. Knowledge is very important. Stay in school.”

 

Emma busied herself with signing the merchandise to avoid the dubious look Henry gave her for even thinking that there was a chance he wouldn’t stay in school. In one look he managed to say, with just an eyebrow twitch and a slight shake of his head, “duh.”

 

He was definitely Regina’s kid.

 

She finished signing all the items and passed them along to Henry. He struggled to hold them all for a second and Emma’s hands floated about to ensure that if he did drop anything she would catch it for him.

 

Once he had everything settled she clapped her hands once, rocked on her heels, and rubbed her hands on her jeans before clapping one more time. “Well…” She coughed and wondered if he noticed her awkwardness. “It was nice meeting you, kid.” She nodded a bit frantically as if to further confirm that it was indeed nice to “meet” him.

 

He continued to stare up at her as if he had no intention of going anywhere. “Henry. My name is Henry.”

 

Bright, innocent eyes implored her to say his name.

 

“Hen—” her voiced broke around his name. Clearing her throat in the hopes of masking her reaction to his name, Emma tried again.

 

“Henry.” Better. “It was nice meeting you Henry.”

 

The smile.

 

The smile he gave her took her breath away and made it all that much harder to breathe. Teeth he hasn’t quite grown into and chubby cheeks he hasn’t quite grown out of were stretching from his huge grin.

 

“I'm your biggest fan Emma.” From his bright engaging eyes to the easy huge grin that never left his face, Henry was all too excited to confess that to her.

 

_And I'm yours._

 

Emma nodded. Once. Twice. Five times. “Thanks, kid.” Her voice sounded hoarse. “Don’t you want to show your mom all your stuff?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

Henry turned bouncing on the balls of his feet then turned back and hesitantly asked, “You’ll remember me right, Emma?”

 

Her response was soft, too soft but he heard nonetheless.

 

“I could _never_ forget you Henry.”

 

The response was more than satisfactory as Henry launched into her middle, merchandise and all. Emma felt the posters digging into her middle and felt the sharpie clutched in his hand that was painfully stabbing into her kidney but those twinges of pain could never take away from the hug.

 

It revived something in her she was sure had been lifeless since she was thirteen.

 

He squeezed, too quickly and as hard as he could then turned back around again to go towards his mother before Emma even had the chance to close her arms around him.

 

As the bright bouncing boy skipped back to his mother with arms overflowing with all of his merchandise he screamed in total, complete, and utter joy.

 

“MOM! SHE TALKED TO ME! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?” He slightly bobbled his overflowing merchandise as he tried to display his signed items. “DID YOU SEE? LOOK AT HER SIGNATURE—ARE YOU SURE I HAVE TO PRACTICE HAVING NEAT HANDWRITING? EMMA’S HANDWRITING ISNT NEAT! EMMA SWAN! EMMA SWAN! I MET EMMA SWAN! THIS IS A DREAM! I’M DEFINITELY DREAMING! PINCH ME MOM I MIG—OW I WASN’T SERIOUS! IT’S NOT FUNNY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! WE ARE IN _PUBLIC!_ ” Henry turned away from his mother with a disapproving pout and faced Kathryn and Frederick, with his next words the young boy’s squeaky voice reached a new high. “AUNT KAT, UNCLE FREDDY, DID YOU SEE ME WITH EMMA? WE TALKED ABOUT CANNIBALISM!”

* * *

 

 

_“What the_ hell _were you thinking?”_

 

_The deafening shout towered over the sound of the door crashing against the wall, the fury laced yell crashed over Emma with a force that left her cringing alone in the middle of the room._

 

Emma shook her head as if that act alone would free her from the resurfacing memories.

 

Emma hadn’t moved since the kid went skipping away. She watched the excitable boy interact with the three adults far above an acceptable talking level.

 

She was smiling so much it hurt. It was almost hysterical how big her smile was and how tinged it was with panic and a happiness she wasn’t quite ready to realize.

 

Henry was gone, disappearing into the group of football players and only three people remained in her eyesight.

 

And she remained in theirs.

 

It was blurry. They were blurry.

 

She couldn’t breathe again.

 

Her breath was irregular. Was she getting enough air? She was gasping and she couldn’t control it.

 

Emma tucked her head down and retreated to the emergency exit door. It didn’t matter that she was supposed to greet the fans at the moment. It didn’t matter that without a doubt her teammates were watching her every move and were wondering about every tear. The only thing that mattered was getting away, however she could.

 

The bright blurry red of the door greeted her and with her shaking hands hovering over the handle she could almost feel the freedom it would grant her.

 

The alarm would go off if the door was opened and the meet-and-greet would be ruined. Henry’s day would be ruined. Sniffling Emma hesitated. She couldn’t very well cause Henry to miss out on meeting other players because she was in a panic.

 

She thought back to his hug and the pure contentment she felt with his arms wrapped around her. The happiness he exhibited just from meeting her.

 

_Her!_

 

She couldn’t very well jeopardize Henry’s happiness.

 

She removed her shaking hand from the door.

 

Refief. She felt relief that Henry’s happiness would not be risked because of her.

 

Yet, there was no relief for her just tears and the feeling that she was suffocating, slowly but surely. The pounding in her ears was just as consuming as her raging thoughts.

 

Thump, thump.

 

_What happened, Emma?_

 

Thump, thump.

 

_Emma! What happened?_

 

Thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump.

 

Her heart pounded furiously like the galloping of a horse.

 

_What did you do?_

 

_What have you done?_

 

With a shake of her head, she attempted to lose the fragments of the past that were consuming her thoughts. She had spent years avoiding what her life was and Emma did not want to revisit that place.

 

Her life was great now. Safe now. Sure, it wasn’t everything she’d wished for as a kid but it was what was best for her.

 

The cold of the door that her forehead was pressed against helped center Emma some. She took deeper breaths, her tears slowed, and the raging memories of her past tapered off until it was only the present she was concerned with.

 

Slowly the sound of the fans and players mingling floated its way back to Emma as she came back to where she was.

 

Vaguely she could hear the sound of Henry’s excited shouting and surprisingly—maybe, not that surprisingly—it brought a smile to Emma’s face.

 

Despite the weight in her chest, that squeaky voice made her feel as if she could soar.

 

“MOM! LOOK IT’S MULAN!” There was a noticeable pause before he continued with what Emma thought was a whisper for him. “She looks scarier in person!”

 

Emma snorted as she imagined a stoic Mulan and a bouncing Henry interacting. No doubt Henry was bubbling with happiness and Mulan straining to smile and make herself appear less scary.

 

The same smile was wide on her face. Puffing cheeks and pinching eyes.

 

The same smile that held both sadness and joy.

 

The same smile that was obvious in its stiffness that she hasn’t smiled like that in who knows how long.

 

It grew when she thought of Henry being here for her. All of them being here for her.

 

_Focus on that_ , she coached herself.

 

Everything can be remembered later.

 

For now, they were here for her and she couldn’t begrudge herself for feeling slightly pleased about it. Not this time.

 

“Swan!” The nagging voice of her coach permeated through Emma’s calming haze.

 

Said woman jumped away from the door and turned to meet her coach. “Yeah?”

 

“Why aren’t you out there with the fans?”

 

“I was…uh, getting something from my locker.”

 

The lie was completely unbelievable as Emma stood next to the emergency exit quite possibly about to bolt and while she wasn’t that far from her locker she was by no means near enough for the lie to be believable, but Walsh did not call her on it.

 

“Emma, whatever is going on is your business but you need to get your ass out there. You are arguably the best player on this team—”

 

Over the chorus of distant voices and excited yelps—mainly from Henry—Emma’s ears perked up ready to hear the signature sound she so easily associated with Tamara.

 

Damn Tamara for getting her hopes up. Damn Tamara for being scary enough with her well timed scoffs that is lead Emma to expecting to hear the sound every time she heard something the woman wouldn’t agree with.

 

“—but that by no means excuses you from fulfilling your duties to this team.”

 

Emma nodded along dutifully but was unsure if she was actually going to be able to face those familiar faces.

 

Now that she was actually faced with the prospect of encountering them again that fleeting moment of joy at them being here for her was just about quelled.

 

Silence hung thick with expectation.

 

“Before you come back out put on the team t-shirt. We want our players looking coordinated not like they just rolled out of the hay.” Walsh ambled away with an odd tilt with every step, reminiscent of a monkey on its hind legs. “Flannel. I tell her to be presentable and she wears _flannel_ ,” Walsh groused as he ambled back into the herd of bodies.

 

“I feel like I should be offended.”

 

She wasn’t. She was grateful.

 

He gave her time.

 

Although, Emma was skeptical there would be enough time in order to give her the courage to get back out there and face those three people who knew her too well.

 

The moment of brief delight was long passed.

 

And she was well aquatinted with reality, again.

 

With her locker opened and her hands aimlessly searching through all her stuff for a shirt she knew was hanging up beside her jerseys, Emma stalled for as long as she could. And she was sure she could do it for the remainder of the event. Sure, Walsh would most likely be upset but she could surely come up with a plausible excuse.

 

_Sorry Walsh I never came back out because I lost the shirt._

 

_I got lost._

 

_The emergency exit called to me and I couldn’t very well refuse._

 

_I'm so damn terrified of speaking to the people I thought I could avoid for_ _the rest of my life and dredging up every mistake we’ve ever made until we’re raw, angry and bitter. I may be a coward be we’re safer apart. I'm safer apart. So that’s why I couldn’t come out, hiding from your past takes a lot of hard work and dedication._

 

Well, at least she had time to come up with a better excuse.

 

All the stalling left her plenty enough time to think.

 

Maybe they wouldn’t even be out there when she finally plucks up enough nerve. Maybe they weren’t even there for her, Henry did claim that he was her biggest fan. They would do anything for the kid even if that meant visiting a team she happened to be on.

 

Maybe they would leave her in peace to the life she crafted in Boston.

 

Maybe Henry would just remain a fan.

 

Immediately the she knew how wrong she was.

 

And maybe the sigh that escaped her lips was a sign that she wasn't as upset as she thought she was.

 

They never left. That much was obvious from the sounds of the kid’s excitement.

 

They were there for her—and probably for Henry as well.

 

When they rounded the corner, she knew without a doubt that they never intended to let her slink into the background.

 

Unfortunately Emma’s full-length locker door was not large enough to hide her from view. Although, the thought of shoving herself inside briefly crossed her mind but it was immediately vetoed by the more rational part of her brain, as it would only further trap her and those three were unlikely to leave just because she was cowering in a locker.

 

Unable and maybe slightly refusing to make eye contact Emma glanced in their direction before wistfully looking into her locker as if it was offering an escape into Narnia.

 

“Can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-I have no idea how cannibalism came into this chapter
> 
> 2-Thanks for reading


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected delay, I underestimated just how much work I had to do for finals. Then as soon as I press the post button my wifi got angry at me and I lost all my edited content. So that was frustrating but after a day of sulking here we are and without further ado...

She had no idea how she got here.

 

Well, of course she _knew_ but why she had let it happen was a mystery.

 

Here she was a twenty-five year old football player who couldn’t say “no” to a nine year old kid.

 

Sure, he wasn’t any nine year old kid but the fact remained that she could not deny this kid.

 

And that thoroughly frightened her.

 

It also frightened her how remarkably good he was at this video game.

 

* * *

  

_“Can we talk?”_

 

The pleading voice of Kathryn reached out for Emma. Begging her to look into her pale blue eyes.

 

The three words carried with them the wanting to absolve and grow from what lay behind them and build something for the future other than hurt feelings, build something that they could be proud of. Those words asked of a possibility for a connection between who Emma is now and who Kathryn is currently.

 

Regardless it was not like Emma had much of a choice whether or not she wanted to talk with them since she was cornered by the three of them and it was doubtful that they would actually let her pass.

 

Saying “no” would be so easy to do if she simply ignored their hurt and disheartened faces and hightailed it through the exit door like she had originally planned. She could practically feel the breeze on her face as well as the palpable freedom to be anywhere except for where they are.

 

“Hey Princess.”

 

But here she was meant to stay, apparently, as tense shoulders eased when Frederick’s reminiscent words drifted over her. Her white-knuckled grip on her locker door loosened under the soothing tide cause by his hand resting softly on her shoulder. A squeeze to her shoulder had her turning towards him. Then a little tug forward had Emma launching into his arms.

 

She was swept off of her feet and smothered in huge biceps and a rock hard chest. The smell of aftershave mixed with wood shavings permeated her nostrils and she did not know until that moment how much she missed that smell. Encased in Frederick's arms and embracing the sense of safety she felt in his arms, Emma’s red-rimmed eyes lost their guard and she relaxed effortlessly into his arms.

 

It had always been suave, charismatic and lovable Fred that was able to talk to Emma when she was wound up. When her walls were as high as her insecurities it was always Fred who was able to calm her. When Emma was retreating into herself and shied away from touching it was always Fred who Emma allowed close enough to touch.

 

Kathryn had always been jealous of their easy relationship.

 

“I missed you, your highness.”

 

“I missed you too Freddy.”

 

“Of course you did, Princess.”

 

A hitching laugh came from Emma somewhat muffled by Fred’s chest.

 

Frederick let her go and when her feet were firmly planted on the ground Emma lost the stability she gained from being wrapped in his arms, leaving her to stable herself on the locker door.

 

Freddy stepped back allowing for Regina to step forward.

 

Emma’s heart was leaping.

 

“Hello Miss Swan.”

 

“Regina…”

 

A quick dart of her eyes over Regina’s face then her eyes flicked back to their place in a safe zone over Regina’s shoulder.

 

“You always did love that story, didn’t you?”

 

Emma shrugged and chanced another quick glance at Regina’s face as red lips tugged into a welcoming smile.

 

“I like it. It…suits you.”

 

Then Regina was stepping forward and Emma was stiff as a statue as Regina wrapped her arms around her.

 

“Are you going to hug me or stand there a let me do all the work?” Regina asked when Emma’s arms remained frozen, one stiff by her side and the other still steadying herself on the locker door.

 

Regina’s words ghosted over the skin of her neck causing Emma’s eyes to flutter. “Right. Uh…”

 

Hesitantly she moved her arms until they were behind Regina and so very softly pressed her hands against Regina’s back.

 

Emma had to fight against the impulse to close her eyes, burrow into the hug, and lose herself in the captivating and delicate woman.

 

Maybe the hug was awkward.

 

Maybe it was nothing more than a light pressing of their arms around the other’s body. 

 

Maybe the hug was _something_ much too hesitant to be anything but _weighted_.

 

Despite the maybes Emma embraced the feel of Regina pressed so close to her because soon it would be over and Emma wanted to appreciate the shape of her. 

 

Regina softly broke away from Emma’s pathetic excuse for a hug by just slightly pressing at her shoulders.

 

Kept as she was away from Regina but resoundingly still feeling the warmth of her arms wrapped around her frame and the weight of her hands on Emma's shoulders.

 

Squeezing at her shoulders Regina drew Emma’s eyes to her own.

 

Dark brown eyes were flicking back and forth between Emma’s brighter, alluring emerald eyes. A sigh escaped from her and to Emma’s wistful thinking it sounded a lot like relief.

 

“You look well, Miss Swan. Are you well?”

 

Something about the way Regina was looking into her eyes implored her neither to look away nor lie.

 

“I'm…well enough.”

 

Regina’s smile was tight and withholding of so many things when she let go of her hold on Emma and stepped back so as to allow Kathryn a chance at a welcome.

 

“Emma.” Kat’s voice soft and plaintive.

 

Blue eyes bored into Emma’s. Gazing back Kathryn’s eyes reminded her of a clear blue sky.

 

Open and impossibly wide. So much so that if she allowed herself she could see everything the blue held. There weren’t any clouds so the possibility of anything hidden behind the blue was impossible.

 

Kat’s eyes were like that.

 

Blue, wide, open, seemingly never-ending and hopeful.

 

And much like the clear blue sky made Emma feel small.

 

Kathryn propelled herself into Emma sending them shuffling back a few steps.

 

For as small as she was the pressure with which she was hugging Emma was bordering on painful. Her arms were crossed so tightly around Emma that her fingers met the end of her forearm on the opposite arm.

 

The embrace was desperate and became even more so as Emma had yet to return the hug.

 

Kathryn tightened her hold on an immobile Emma in hopes of drawing anything from her, even if it was a push backwards.

 

It was minutes or perhaps a few weighted seconds where Emma’s response balanced precariously between outright rejection and an urgent hug.

 

Frederick and Regina were holding their breaths both fearing the result if Emma pushed Kathryn away.

 

Kathryn’s hug was softening and her arms losing their desperate hold as she became less sure of their embrace.

 

A part of Emma relished letting Kathryn break from the hug and seeing the agony of rejection on her face.

 

But, there was the bigger, more desperate part of herself that craved the embrace. That felt Kathryn pulling away and grabbed her as tightly as she could, in refusal of losing whatever comfort or love was being offered.

 

She grasped for the love that she always wanted so desperately and always been denied.

 

The two blondes were squeezing the other so tightly that they were sure they would bruise but neither could find it within themselves to care.

 

Emma was squeezing the hardest out of the two but she couldn’t let go.

 

Maybe that had been her problem all along.

 

“I'm so sorry, Em.”

 

Those words had the two squeezing harder and Emma’s eyes snapping shut to quell the flow of tears.

 

“Me too, Kat. Me too.”

 

Emma pushed away then.

 

The hug was becoming too constricting, her emotions were raging and it was way too hot again.

 

The white-knuckled grip on her locker was restored as Emma steadied herself by nearly burrowing into her locker in order to give herself the allusion of privacy.

 

There was something oddly endearing about seeing Emma try and hide behind her locker door that brought out nostalgia so intense in Kathryn that it left her eyes shinning.

 

Emma’s thoughts circled in endless loops of what exactly they were supposed to do _next_.

 

Was she supposed to—

 

“What are you guys doing back here?”

 

Henry walked up to his mother and despite his confusion looked excited to be back there.

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Emma could easily imagine the way Henry his head turned from her to his mom then on to Kat and Freddy and then once more to her, in over-exaggerated motions.

  

They were silent.

 

And Emma hoped they weren't relying on her for an excuse.

 

_Henry we were hiding from Tamara because cannibals aren’t a joke and we aren’t safe._

 

_Henry we were discovering this new entry into Narnia using my locker as a portal and my sheer force of will to open it._

 

_Henry we were reuniting after six years of forced separation on my part because of many years of pain before that._

 

They really shouldn’t depend on her.

 

Frederick recovered first and that wasn’t a shock to anyone. “Emma was just grabbing something from her locker to give to you. We got to talking about what a big fan of hers you are and she thought you would enjoy this gift.”

 

“REALLY?”

 

Emma didn’t need to be able to see him to how thrilled he was. Her ears were perfectly able to pick up the delighted screech.

 

Almost too perfectly as she flinched slightly from the loud sound that must be a part of Henry’s main settings.

 

She wondered if the others flinched from the loud rebounding sound but then she supposed that they were used to such sounds. So used to them that they were just the norm of wonderful sounds Henry emitted when he was happy.

 

Then she wondered if she would have been used to such loud screeches on a daily basis.

 

She can't imagine it being that bad.

 

“Yeah I, uh, wanted you to have this.”

 

Emma gathered herself enough to pluck the shirt _she_ was supposed to be wearing from where she knew it was hanging up, wipe her eyes discreetly so as not to alert him to the fact that she was crying, then turn around with a semi-believable smile on her face and present this beautiful kid with something he would cherish.

 

It wasn’t until she was holding out the shirt for a few seconds that she realized that the kid’s arms were still laden with all his Breakers merchandise.

 

“Oh. Take this kid.”

 

Emma took the gym bag with the Breaker symbol on the side from the bottom of her locker and emptied it. Sport bras, gym shorts, a pair of running shoes, deodorant, granola bars, water bottles, and hair ties rained down in a mess of a pile at the bottom of her locker.

 

Emma sniffed it to make sure Henry could in fact use it without possibly passing out. Four sets of chuckles reached her ears as they found amusement in Emma checking the scent in her bag and protecting Henry from possible nausea inducing smells but it was just sweat.

 

He’ll live.

 

As she was helping him place his armful of stuff into the bag Henry hopped about making the job more difficult than it should have been.

 

Yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to mind.

 

“You wouldn’t believe the smell of this little guy’s soccer stuff.” Fred admirably said with a ruffle of Henry’s hair.

 

“Football,” both Emma and Henry reflexively corrected.

 

“Yes despite his lack of play the smell is still pungent.”

 

Emma laughed at the upturning of Regina’s nose.

 

Cute.

 

Then grasping onto what was actually said, she look seriously down at the kid. “You don’t get to play?”

 

The kid morosely shook his head.

 

“Well when I first started playing I wasn’t that good and I sat on the bench too.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Hopeful and disbelieving eyes look into Emma’s.

 

“Yeah. Also I was older than you so you already have a head start. I'm sure you’ll get there.”

 

The kid’s spirit was rejuvenated and even more so when Regina uttered the words that had Emma’s head whipping in her direction and giving her a look of betrayal.

 

“We were also discussing the possibility of Miss Swan giving you some pointers.”

 

If Emma was looking at anyone instead of the bright red exit that was so close yet so far away, she would have seen the shock that was almost identically etched on Kat’s and Fred’s face, a slightly apologetic look Regina was sending her way and the pure enthusiastic and hopeful gaze from Henry.

 

“Really? Emma Swan, you’re going to help me become better? I’ll get to play?”

 

It was nearly impossible to tear her gaze from the exit but she needed to look into the Henry’s eyes more.

 

It would be so easy to say “no.” It is just one word made up of two letters. How hard could it be to say?

 

 

 

Apparently extremely hard.

 

The word that would have caused glimmering hopeful eyes to dim and shoulders to slump was stuck in her throat.

 

Emma nodded instead as her hand desperately gripped the bottom of her shirt.

 

A beatific smile was beaming from the nine year old.

 

Panic and hysteria were settling into the cracks of Emma’s smile and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

 

She was antsy, caged in and when Henry moved forward in his excitement to hug her Emma stepped back before she could fight the impulse. Then turned to her locker to retrieve another team shirt for him and avoid his hurt expression.

 

The remainder of the event was spent avoiding the looks her teammates were giving her all the while being attached to an easily excitable kid and trying to maintain enough composure to look as if she was enjoying herself and not building up with enough pressure to made her head spin and her stomach turn.

 

She pretended that she couldn’t hear Kat and Regina arguing through just audible whispers of, “what are you doing she is not ready. Look at her, she looks like she's going to puke” and “what did you want me to do, Kat? Say nothing and hope she doesn’t run away and change her name again?” She didn’t see Freddy shushing them.

 

 

 

The event was over.

 

Stalling and fretting was at a new all time high for Emma. She was riffling through her locker making a bigger mess of the junk from her gym bag.

 

They were out there waiting for her so she could help Henry. Regina even hammered out the park they were going to.

 

She used to admire how efficient Regina was when accomplishing a task. But now her sense of admiration was gone and replaced with pure annoyance.

 

“You’re still here?”

 

Emma jumped at the sound of Ruby’s voice. Most of the girls left already seeing as the meet-and-greet ended an hour ago.

 

“I thought you would have left already. Isn’t Lily back in town?” Ruby questioned with less antagonism than she had towards Emma earlier.

 

“No, she was held up for another week or so.”

 

“Hmm...”

 

Emma just knew what was coming next and damn that portal to Narnia and its piss poor timing. “

 

So, what are you doing later?”

 

“Spell it out, Lucas.”

 

“Are you immersing yourself in the wonders of your locker or are you buying time so you can out-wait that family hovering by the entrance doors?”

 

“Just cleaning out my locker.”

 

“Right. Sure you are.” If only she would agree and leave it alone. “So who are they?”

 

“Fans.”

 

Ruby snorted.

 

“You’re really not going to tell me?”

 

Ruby sounded offended but Emma knew she was having too much fun prying for that to be true. Ruby was a wolf after prey and she loved the chase.

 

Emma found folding her sport-bras more productive than answering Ruby's stupid and invasive questions.

 

“You’re going to ignore that we all saw how you reacted to seeing those people? We saw tough, mysterious, invulnerable, emotionless brick wall Emma Swan damn near cry at the sight of those people.”

 

Emma froze under the assault of Ruby’s raising voice. She was able to hear the ruffling of some of the others. So apparently she wasn’t as alone as she thought. And apparently they were all nosy old ladies who needed to mind their own lives instead of her private life.

 

“Are you even going to talk to me Emma? Or just ignore me until you think the problem will go away?”

 

“You're not my mother—”

 

Emma stopped and expected a response that belonged to a different time.

 

_“Yeah. Thank god for that.”_

 

“—I don’t have to give you an answer for every question you think you’re entitled to.”

 

“Entitled to? God. Emma I'm trying to get to know my best friend.”

 

Sorting the granola bars by color was evidently not appreciated since Ruby smacked them out of her hands.

 

“Damn it Emma! What is wrong with you? You're emotionally constipated and it’s driving me insane!”

 

Emma laughed because emotionally constipated. Really?

 

The glare Ruby leveled at the back of her head was hot enough to burn.

 

“Who are they Emma?”

 

Maybe it was the exasperation coming from Ruby, maybe it was from endlessly shuffling through her locker for a whole hour, maybe it was her emotional constipation, or maybe it was the accumulation of events that has been her life so far but Emma wanted to cry, rave, scream, yell, shriek and wail.

 

Anything to…to release this pressure that has been swelling up in her for the past few hours, the past six years, hell since her birth.

 

She was desperate for a reprieve and it appeared the world was intent on never letting that happen.

 

Before she could burst and say something unforgivable Tamara, who was so casually leant against the wall, spoke.

 

“It’s fairly obvious who they are, Lucas.”

 

The two women looked and waited for an explanation. Emma with bated breath and Ruby in anticipation of having her questions answered.

 

“Emma knocked-up the respectable beauty resulting in the hyperactive kid and the other two came to demand a dowry.”

 

“Funny,” Ruby said woodenly.

 

“I know. I'm a riot.” Tamara said just as woodenly.

 

What Emma loved most about Tamara was the stony delivery she had whenever she spoke about something. Whether it was a joke, a gibe, or if the woman was pissed the words usually accompanied an impassive face.

 

Emma appreciated the consistency with which Tamara conducted herself. Especially with the roller coaster of emotion she'd been dragged on without her consent.

 

Ruby’s frustration was evident as her hands aggressively went to her hips and she scrowled at Emma looking like as much of a mom as she could with short shorts and breaker t-shirt that was tied over her belly button.

 

“Now that all of your questions are answered. I'm back here because Belle is looking for you Lucas.”

 

When Ruby left, rather unwillingly, Emma breathed a sigh of relief. The inquisition was over for now and she could pretend that organizing her locker was the most stressful and messy thing in her life at the moment.

 

“You can't hide back here forever.”

 

Tamara's lips were pressed into a firm line and her arms were crossed. Looking effortlessly like an intimating mother, easily putting Ruby's stern look to shame, but Emma was done being the wayward teen.

  

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

 

“Where?”

 

“I’ll walk you to your car.”

 

“No I-I’m good.”

 

“I wasn’t asking. Come on Swan. No questions just support.”

 

Closing her locker and just accepting what Tamara was offering because she was certain she was going to need it. But also because who knew what the scary woman would do if she had refused.

 

The support turned out to be unneeded. Walking out of the locker room the four people she expected to be hovering around weren’t there.

 

She outwaited them.

 

Huh, she expected relief to feel a bit different.

 

Tamara was a solid and imposing presence beside her as they continued to walk to her car.

 

She didn't let Emma dwell on the fact Emma was walking beside her and not a skipping Henry.

 

“So you and Lucas are having a hard time. What’s that about?”

 

“I remember you saying no questions.”

 

“I'm sure we both know what questions I'm not going to ask.”

 

“She’s upset and she’s taking it out on me. I don’t know why.”

 

“You don’t,” Tamara easily agreed. "Don't you think you should find out?”

 

“Wha-ahh!”

 

“Hey Emma!” Henry popped out from seemingly nowhere. “Hello Dragon.”

 

She smoothly—really everything Tamara did was smooth—smiled at Henry not at all surprised that he appeared out of nowhere. “You know how to properly greet a dragon. I'm impressed.” Tamara smiled at Henry’s buzzing excitement. “Well you have your hands full Swan. See you at practice.”

 

Tamara left and Emma was reeling as she came to terms with them not leaving her.

 

“So Emma are you ready to help me become as good as you?”

 

She wasn’t so sure that she would ever be ready.

 

_No._

 

“Of course.”

 

Henry took her hand, which caused Emma to fight off the urge to snatch her hand back, then dragged her to where Regina’s Mercedes was conveniently parked next to her bug.

 

Kathryn and Regina were standing next to the Mercedes watching and Emma was disheartened to note that Frederick wasn't there.

 

“Ready for the park Miss Swan?” Regina asked with a raise of an eyebrow.

 

Emma plainly heard the implicit questions Regina was really asking.

 

Was she ready for what most certainly will come afterwards?

 

Was she ready to finally stop running?

 

Was she ready for them and the shitload of baggage they all carried?

 

Hell if she knew.

 

She knew Henry was eager to be around her and that it felt incredible.

 

She knew disappointment would follow if she said no.

 

She knew there would be high expectations and that her actually reaching them might be slim to none.

 

She also knew that behind the fear and apprehension she didn’t want to say no nor did she want them to leave without making some effort.

 

“Yes, of course. I’ll meet you there. You know how to get there right?” Emma spewed in one rushed breath. “Good see you there.”

 

She was in her car then the car was started and they were still staring at her not having moved yet. Backing the bug out of the parking lot she gave the group a wave out of courtesy before she was racing toward the destination of Regina’s choosing.

 

Just because she said yes didn’t mean she actually had to be brave enough to face them yet.

 

 

 

The park was bright but dull in comparison to the brightness of Henry’s eyes.

 

The extra time she garnered from practically peeling out of the parking lot and speeding through the streets allowed for her to stretch her lungs with deep breaths and feel the freedom she sought.

 

With the soft breeze and the warm sun heating and cooling her skin concurrently Emma kicked the ball she brought with her from foot to foot. Falling into the hypnotic motion of moving the ball to and fro until effortlessly she started juggling it.

 

Her worries were gone, her uncertainties diminished under the spell of kicking the ball in the air with an easy tap of her foot and when she felt like it moving the ball to bounce effortlessly against her thighs. She speed up the rhythm losing herself in the slapping of the ball against her body.

 

Everything else was background noise. It was only her and the football; like it has always been.

 

Until the so, so bright brown haired kid came running through the park. His gangly and uncoordinated limbs flailing awkwardly.

 

Emma put on a smile that was becoming less forced the longer she watched Henry run. “Okay first things first, we have to work on your running.” Emma said with a laugh when Henry finally skidded to stop in front of her. “Let me see you run in place.”

 

Henry was all awkward coordination, flailing limbs and determined features.

 

It was a spectacular sight.

 

“Okay kid you can stop. You’re all over the place when you run.” Emma flapped her arms wildly eliciting a giggle from the kid. “You need to bring in your arms some, well a lot.” Emma demonstrated. “A lot of football is running and ball control so if you work on those two things you’ll be great.”

 

The time at the park passed not quickly or easily, since Emma could feel the stares from Kathryn and Regina from where they sat on a bench that Emma slowly moved her and Henry farther away from, but it passed freely from the tension the air was so encumbered with before.

 

Primarily due to Henry’s happy chattering and awkward thrashing that caused laughter to bubble up in Emma so strongly that she was bent over in delight.

 

Emma spent her time focusing in on Henry and pretending that she couldn't feel Kat and Regina watching them.

 

It was past midafternoon when they finally headed pack to their cars. Henry’s excitable yammering wasn’t as high as it was earlier in the day and his steps weren’t as springy but the tired kid was still the shining.

 

It was heartening to know that even the energizer bunny wore down after a full day of hyperactivity.

 

Emma was halfway in the car waving over her shoulder at the three, as usual cowering away from eye contact and trying to make her escape.

 

Trying being the operative word.

 

“EMMA! WAIT!” Henry walked to the door of Emma’s bug where she was awkwardly hanging out of. “Can I keep this?”

 

She glanced to the ball clutched to his chest.

 

“Sure kid.”

 

“Would you sign it? I have a sharpie.”

 

The signed ball was once again clutched to his small chest and his crystal blue eyes shined at her while she still hung awkwardly from her car not wanting to lose the sight of him.

 

“Do you have to go? Can’t we spend more time together?”

 

“I’m sure she is busy, Hen.” Kat said trying to deter Henry from pushing Emma too far.

 

Emma was sure her heart stopped beating. Even the cool breeze couldn't help her breathe easier.

 

“Please Emma. Please.”

 

Blue pleading eyes implored her and Emma was gaping at Daniel’s eyes—Henry’s eyes. They were bright, stunning, and begging.

 

It was heart clenching.

 

And saying no wasn’t even a possibility she considered.

 

She only considered how much brighter his eyes became and how his cheeks puffed up into a smile when she nodded and agreed to spending more time with him.

 

* * *

 

That’s how she found herself sitting on her couch losing at the video game played on the television in her living room and often taking deep breaths when the air got thin.

 

“You're cheating.”

 

Emma said for what had to be the seventh time.

 

Again, Henry cackled more taunting than a kid his age had a right to be.

 

“I play football for a living it should be impossible for you to beat me.” Emma groaned when Henry scored another goal on FIFA. “Okay kid I give up.”

 

“Aww come on Emma you’re supposed to have talent,” Henry challenged with a devious little smile on his face.

 

Emma groaned again. “Ugh you're just like…” _your mom._ “Like someone I used to know.”

 

She scolded herself for her near slip up and refused to glance in the direction of Kat and Regina. They made themselves at home sitting on barstools in the kitchen and no doubt surveilling her and Henry and scrutinizing every bit of the life Emma has made since she left.

 

Emma suddenly didn’t like the openness of her loft. The place where she felt she couldn’t be confined by small rooms or the closing of doors unexpectedly felt like being under a microscope.

 

“You guys hungry?” She stood, making her way towards the door. “I'm hungry,” were the last words they heard before the door shut.

 

* * *

 

_“What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do with you? Huh? Tell me what I'm supposed to do!”_

 

_“Nothing!”_

 

* * *

 

“She’s doing surprisingly well. Don’t you think?” Regina could not find it within herself to sound any less smug.

 

“She’s doing well because she is ignoring us. That’s the only reason.”

 

 _Details_ , Regina thought.

 

“Regardless, her temper hasn’t flared and we made it into her apartment.”

 

Regina had watched slightly amused and only slightly worried as her son coerced Emma into spending more time with him through the use of his puppy dog pout. Easily, she spotted the signs of Emma’s unease and thought to save her from Henry’s insistent determination to spend time with his idol but Regina couldn’t make herself let Emma go.

 

The sight of Henry and Emma bonding was something she didn’t want to lose. So she let her little prince somehow convince an antsy and floundering Emma to play a game of FIFA with him.

 

They followed behind the speeding bug barely keeping up as Regina drove just fast enough not to lose her.

 

She knew without a doubt that Emma felt like she was drowning with no sign of help. She was gasping as if her breath was really stolen and replaced with the water she was dangerously breathing in. Her windows were rolled down as if more air could save her or help her float a bit more so the water she’s choking in would be just a little less oppressive, a little less damaging. Her hands desperately clung to the steering wheel feeling like if she tethered herself to something then maybe she wouldn’t be pulled under the raging waters.

 

Following along as best she could Regina never once questioned how she knew Emma so well. She did not question the easy and intrinsic connection she had with Emma. Regina failed to notice knowing her was something she did without any effort at all.

 

Emma then led them into her apartment building, which surprisingly had a doorman, and up to the top floor of the building with only five levels.  

 

The only interaction with Emma during that time came from a few short glances and a smile so tight it looked painful.

 

They were then shuffled in through the unlocked door and into her loft apartment.

 

The first thought that crossed Regina’s mind was how spacious and open the loft was. From the front door she could see everything the apartment offered from the living room and its mounted television, to the kitchen and its bar stools, and the bedroom and its large and ruffled bed. There were only two doors in the loft, not including the front door, and both rested on opposite sides of the bed. Regina concluded that those must be the doors to the closet and bathroom.

 

The second and most pressing thought she had—according to the twisting of her stomach—was that Emma’s home was a bachelor pad.

 

_Why would she need a bachelor pad?_

 

_Bachelorette pad?_

 

There also wasn’t anything that signified that Emma called this place her home. Regina saw a soccer ball and a few stray articles of clothing but that was it.

 

It was hallow.

 

And they were responsible.

 

“So are we betting on how long Emma can stall until she realizes we might not leave her apartment until she feeds us?” Regina asked, no longer wanting to be lost in her thoughts on just how empty Emma’s life seemed.

 

Kathryn snorted and swirled the orange juice that Emma bestowed upon them before scampering to play games with Henry. At least she had at least a modicum of manners before she effectively ignored them.

 

“No. She will stall long enough until the food is so cold we can't tell if it’s from her taking so long to bring it or the chill from her coldshoulder.”

 

Both chuckles resulting were dry and biting.

 

And both were fending off tears.

 

Henry peeked over his shoulder and the look that passed over his face was similar to when he schemes to sneak candy from Regina’s hidden chocolate stash in the Raisin Bran box.

 

Regina dismissed the look as just him being in disbelief at actually being in Emma’s home.

 

She was wrong.

 

“Do you think we should have left when Frederick did?” Kathryn asked still swirling her juice.

 

“No. He had work otherwise he would be here as well.”

 

“He always understood Emma so well.”

 

“Yeah.” Regina recalled crystal blue eyes that looked silver in the morning. “Daniel did too.”

 

“Do you think they would tell us that we’re pushing too hard?”

 

It was Regina’s turn to swirl the juice around her glass. “We are pushing too hard.” Kathryn’s mouth pinched and Regina didn’t remove her eyes from the swirling of her pulp filled orange juice. “But how else is progress made with Emma if not from pushing boundaries?”

 

“Hurt can happen in an instant Regina, especially with Emma, but healing can't be some obstacle we force ourselves through? She needs her space.”

 

“And what has giving her space accomplished? If we don’t push she will continue to live in this empty carcass of a home.” She gestured to the lifeless loft. “Hesitance looks terrible on you, dear. We’ve made mistakes when it has come to Emma and it’s time to make them right and stop being complacent with letting her live like this.”

 

Kathryn drank the rest of the juice in her glass like it was a shot of something stronger. “What's made you so resolute in this?”

 

“Seeing her with Henry and seeing how happy she makes him. I'm a mother that wants her son to be that happy constantly.”

 

Somehow that felt like a half-truth.

 

Speaking of Henry she just noticed that he wasn’t sitting in the living room.

 

“What happens when we push too hard?” Kat asked, not noticing that Regina's attention was elsewhere.

 

Regina eyes found an open door that definitely wasn’t open before. She raised Henry with enough manners to not use the bathroom with the door open so there was only one possibility of what he was doing.

 

He was riffling through Emma’s closet.

 

Of course Emma walked through the door at that moment.

 

“Food.” She stated letting the bag down on the counter. “Kid I hope you like Thai.”

 

Regina begged for Henry to come from the closet.

 

When Emma raised her head to see the empty living room, Regina swallowed.

 

When Emma turned her focus to the open door, Regina rose from her seat.

 

Emma’s long, long legs strode to the open door in an instant and stormed through the door.

 

“What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?”

 

Regina and Kathryn weren’t far behind her.

 

They entered the closet and saw Henry sitting next to an upturned box with pictures in his hands.

 

“I'm in these.” Henry's eyes never strayed from the pictures. “We're in these pictures. _Dad_ is in these pictures.”

 

“What the hell are you thinking going through a person’s belongings? Didn’t you mother teach you it’s wrong to snoop?”

 

Emma was raging. Her fists were clenched as was her jaw and her eyes were scalding.

 

“Why am I in these pictures? Why are you in these pictures?”

 

Regina and Kathryn were motionless at the entrance of the closet as they watched the catastrophe that was occurring.

 

Emma ripped the pictures from Henry’s hands. “You have no right.” Gripping the pictures as she was caused them to crumble from the amount of pressure she was exerting on them.

 

She righted the box with shaking and aggressive hands she replaced the contents by slamming the items back into the box.

 

Regina closed her eyes to rid herself of the look Henry gave Emma in that moment. It was such a staggering contrast to how he looked at her just hours before.

 

Her mind ran through the question Kathryn asked just minutes before:

 

_“What happens when we push too hard?”_

 

Emma; with jerky movements, silent tears, and a hidden box in the back of her closet that she shoved all her problems into.

 

Henry; with damp eyes, heaps of questions, and a disappointed and distrusting look that replaced the one of giddy excitement he usually had when he saw Emma.

 

Regina's heart was plummeting as she watched what was happening because they pushed too hard.

 

And she could do nothing but watch the backlash.

 

“You're in pictures with my family.” Henry accused. “Why?”

 

Emma, poor Emma was anything but okay. Still crouched over the box, her trembling fingers were holding the lids closed. Desperately pressing the lids closed as if that would somehow keep the past from spilling from the box and into her life.

 

The dam was already broken and they have to deal with the leak before it became nearly impossible to stop.

 

Regina wasn't even remotely resolute anymore.

 

“Mom? Aunt Kat?”

 

Emma seemed to be withering before them so Henry turned his sights to them.

 

There was a second where she thought to pick up Henry, leave the loft, pick up their things from the hotel, and forget that this day even happened just to save them all from Henry’s investigation and Emma’s devastation that resulted from it.

 

 _“And what has giving her space accomplished?”_ She had asked.

 

It saved Emma from this.

 

Space kept her free from being so incredibly crippled from the heaviness of their past, that even a couple of pictures could cause such a reaction.

 

“Mom?”

 

Oh, how she could hear the desperation leaking into his voice.

 

“I’m—she’s,” Kat cleared her throat and attempted again, “I'm her sister.”

 

Henry was silent.

 

Regina and Kathryn were silent.

 

And Emma…

 

Emma was laughing.

 

Cruel, scathing, and way too high to be anything but hysterical.

 

“Get out.”

 

The laughter stopped and Emma met their eyes without shying away or avoiding.

 

They rather she went back to shirking their gazes than glaring.

 

Her look was sharp, cutting and blatantly displayed all the pain she tried to force away.

 

“Get out!”

 

Regina tucked Henry under her arm and Kathryn walked closer.

 

“Emma…” Kathryn stupidly reached her hand out to touch her.

 

Emma snatched her hands away before she could be touched then rose to her full height.

 

She was red and fuming.

 

There was the temper they only saw a quick glimpse of.

 

“GET. OUT.”

 

Emma’s fists gripped her shirt and Regina and Kat both knew that she was just barely restraining herself from lashing out.

 

The three all but ran to the front door with a thundering Emma stomping along behind them.

 

Kathryn just barely crossed over the threshold before Emma slammed the door closed so hard the hinges groaned and the trio flinched.

 

* * *

  

The drive to Storybrooke was a quiet affair.

 

The quiet was stifling and consuming.

 

It was oppressive and Regina understood why Emma pulled at her collars when she was distressed.

 

The heavy air was much too hard to breathe and she understood why Emma would drive with the windows down.

 

She understood why Emma gripped the wheel and worried her bottom lip, it was a lifeline and the only thing keeping her from tears.

 

“Emma Swan is your sister?”

 

Henry was the first one to speak.

 

“Yeah Hen.”

 

Kathryn spoke softly and Regina did not allow herself to see the deflated blonde curled on the seat next to her.

 

“What happened?”

 

_Grip the wheel and keep from crying._

 

_Worry her lip to keep from screaming._

 

“A lot, Henry. A lot happened.”

 

And Kathryn was the last to speak for the remainder of the drive.

 

* * *

  

_“Fuck Kat! I know! I know, okay? And, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!”_

 

_“Apologizing will not fix what you did! You never think Emma!”_

 

_“I know.”_

 

_“What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do with you? Huh? Tell me what I'm supposed to do!”_

 

_“Nothing!” Emma viciously spat. “You're not my mother!”_

 

_“Yeah. Thank god for that.” Kathryn sneered, so caught up in her anger and frustration she did not think her next words through._

 

 _“Your mother left_ you _on the side of the road and you killed mine!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-Finally we get into the past. A lot of the past upcoming in the next chapter.
> 
> 2-That was a long chapter. How are you guys liking the chapter length? Longer? Shorter?
> 
> 3-Thanks for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments, kudos, and subscriptions. You are all amazing.
> 
> Sorry for being MIA for so long but I am back and ready to roll.
> 
> Note, the changed rating. There are two sex scenes but nothing too graphic because, honestly, if it isn't between Regina and Emma it's not interesting. Little mention of abusive foster homes.
> 
> Also this chapter is rated FP for flip phone use.

Emma didn’t know how long she stood at her front door. Whether a fair amount of time passed or a few short seconds was not of any importance to Emma because in that moment regardless of how much time had truly passed her heart was still pounding.

 

_What happened, Emma?_

 

Her eyes were still blinking back tears.

 

_Emma! What happened?_

 

Her hands were still balled into quaking fists.

 

_What did you do?_

 

Her throat was still choking on the sobs she refused to let escape.

 

_What have you done?_

 

Her lungs were still aching for air.

 

Her mind though…

 

Her mind was lost.

 

Adrift in the chaotic remembrances that easy dragged her down to the beginning of her hell.

 

* * *

 

_It was eerie how time could slow down at the most inopportune times._

 

_It was a conundrum that Emma was trying to wrap her head around._

 

_Everything was moving so slowly around her._

 

_The flashing red of the lights of the Sheriff’s squad car that she could see through the windows._

 

_Even the sound of a fist banging on the door was muted and slowed._

 

_She heard her name in a two-syllable drone that had little effect in pulling Emma out of her shock._

 

_Running footsteps that even through the haze Emma was under were barely thumping as he sprinted to her side._

 

_“What happened, Emma?”_

 

_Emma could easily find the overwhelming concern plastered to the Sheriff’s face. He hadn’t yet noticed what she had done and it was only when he came closer did he see who laid at the bottom of the stairs._

 

_The Sheriff’s face crumpled as easily as a piece of paper as he took in Snow lying still and unmoving in her growing puddle of blood._

 

_As Emma watched his legs give out and his muscled form slowly drop to the floor there was one overwhelming thought that encumbered her whole being._

 

I killed the woman he loved.

 

_Watching the tough sheriff crumble before her was an arresting sight for the thirteen year old._

 

_Emma’s hair was swinging into her vision and obstructing her view of the crippled sheriff; she did not even notice that it was caused by the frantic shaking of her head._

 

_It wasn’t real._

 

 _Her mother was not lying de—_ still _in a growing puddle of her own blood._

 

_David Nolan; the tall and broad shouldered hero was not falling into tiny fragments of himself. A man who was larger than life, filled with brawn, and an intimidating scowl that had anyone in his sights walking the straight-and-narrow was not a blubbering mess of gasping sobs._

 

_Simply a bad dream._

 

_She often had nightmares where the people she loved would be taken away from her. This is just a vivid nightmare. Nothing more. She would wake up to see her mother making her breakfast and she would hopefully be able to reach Kat on her cellphone. Emma would happily take the hours of lost sleep freaking over how real that nightmare seemed._

 

_But the sight of the sheriff was enough proof that this reality was not a dream because Emma knew that she could never imagine that Hulk of a man to be anything less than invincible._

 

* * *

Emma was staring at the open door of her closet.

 

It was daunting how a simple cardboard box could cause her heart to speed and her palms to sweat.

 

It felt a lot like a nightmare where the thing she just happened to fear most grows into an unearthly size until it's towering over her and demanding that she face it head on. Running was out of the question as she always ended up running in place while her fear grows and grows until it is twice as paralyzing as before.

 

And if she thought it daunting before, well _now_ it was petrifying.

 

Emma was left wondering why she even tried to run in the first place. If doing so only caused her more hardship.

 

It was as if she could feel it growing before her eyes. All the while harder to ignore and harder to hide from.

 

Emma never liked losing. Maybe the reason for that was because she felt like most of the time losing had been a constant state of her life. It left a scar and she can only imagine it gets deeper with every slicing loss thrown her way.

 

When Emma turned her back on her closet after slamming the door closed; that’s what losing felt a lot like losing coupled with instantaneous feeling of that scar burrowing deeper.

 

The toaster was broken.

 

Maybe she should be more surprised.

 

But hacking at a toaster with a screwdriver—which she unplugged after the fourth or so hit—in the hopes or hoax of “fixing it” when Emma knew that she really went after that deadly toaster in the hopes of making something more broken than she was.

 

Emma heard the knocking at her door.

 

Over the years she became very talented at ignoring.

 

Ignoring the hateful glares of her all to temporary foster parents. Ignoring the way her heart would clench when she was sent back. Ignoring the longing so deep in her bones that it felt like it was taking root and she would never be free of it. She definitely became incredible at ignoring the hateful and blaming looks she received after what she did to her mother. It was all too easy to ignore the way Kat avoided her. The abuse that came with her “father’s” grief was to be ignored and filed away as deserved.

 

She could also mostly ignore that little nasty self-deprecating voice that would whisper of all the ways she can ruin everything good in her life.

 

So, _ignoring_ the pounding at her front door would be a cakewalk compared to everything else she’s endured.

 

Besides Emma was lost in the rhythm of completely destroying her toaster. She figured she could make more pieces of it yet.

 

“Oooh Thai.” The animated voice, that Emma knew all too well, cheered.

 

Surprise was for people who did not know Ruby. Emma continued terrorizing her toaster, not even sparing a glance at Ruby rifling through the bag of food.

 

“You need to really stop hiding your spare key under the welcome mat.”

 

Emma grunted. Which could have been from the effort of removing one stubborn piece from the toaster or actually acknowledging what Ruby said.

 

Either way Ruby wasn’t discouraged.

 

She rarely is.

 

“Please tell me you weren’t about to go for a run.”

 

She was of course. After the overpowering urge to hack her toaster to bits was satisfied, she knew herself well enough to know that she would become too restless, too caged in and eventually go for a run until she was too tired to think of all the ways she hurt.

 

“Have you seen _NCIS_? _CSI_?” Ruby was waving her arms around exasperated at Emma’s absent-minded denial. “ _Law and Order_? _Criminal Minds_?”

 

The blonde stopped banging the toaster against the granite countertops and actually paid close attention to Ruby. She looked slightly disheveled and disheartened and her shirt wasn't buttoned correctly.

 

“No I haven’t. What’s this about?”

 

“If you had seen those shows you would know that when attractive, white, blonde girls run at night that they usually end up _murdered_.”

 

“Oh,” Emma turned her back on Ruby. She couldn’t quite handle the concern held within grey eyes. “You should know by now that I can take care of myself.”

 

Emma could practically hear the repressed “ _can you_?”

 

She would have asked why Ruby showed up if she hadn’t seen the lipstick marks smeared across her neck.

 

In that moment Emma knew why she and Ruby had remained friends for so long.

 

They were lonely.

 

Too lonely to risk losing the only other person as lonely as them.

 

Well that was just…sad.

 

There was a shared understanding—that Emma was just starting to realize—that was left unspoken in their companionship; this friendship was better than being alone.

 

“So those ‘fans’ are gone, your toaster is demolished, and there is enough Thai for Mulan to have trouble finishing…”

 

It was apparent that Ruby wanted to her to fill in just exactly what transpired and Emma felt the unwanted delving into her life like a painful prick moving and moving until it’s deep enough to make everything bleed out of her.

 

Emma glanced back and met pricking eyes that attempted delve into her. She turned back around and did what she does best; deflect.

 

“So you had an eventful night with Belle, you have lipstick stains along your neck, your shirt is missing a few buttons, and you’re sporting a killer glare that can quite possibly give Tamara a run for her money.”

 

A silence pregnant with unease filled the kitchen.

 

The sound of Ruby rubbing at her neck then filled the silence.

 

“I think we need a drink.”

 

The incessant prickling Emma felt along her body eased and her thin lips pressed into a slight smile—not that Ruby could see it. “Yeah, I think we do.”

 

* * *

  

_She was outside. She doesn’t quite remember how that happened._

 

_One second she was listening to the hitching in the Sheriff’s voice as he spoke on the radio then she was outside her house alone and lost._

 

_There was movement._

 

_Men and women blurred as they ran past a motionless Emma._

 

_Lights from the ambulance and police cars filled her vision._

 

_Distantly she thought about how unusual this sort of production is for Storybrooke. It was a quiet town. Too quiet. When she first moved here it set her nerves on edge as she waited for something—anything to happen._

 

_Standing there surrounded by the loud wails of the sirens and the red and blue lights, Emma was surprised how used to the quiet she had gotten._

 

_It was frightening. Especially now._

 

_Especially now when being sent away was a definite possibility._

 

_The other foster families sent her away for less._

 

_“Emma!”_

 

_The sight of her foster father sprinting through the gathered crowd sent her heart straight into her stomach. Making the slight young girl heavier, in a way that was smothering._

 

_“What happened?”_

 

_Her father—her foster father, she corrected as surely she wouldn’t remain with him after Snow._

 

_Her foster father grabbed her shoulders. Ready to pull Emma out of whatever wide-eyed trance she was in, when the paramedics carried a stretcher out of his home._

 

_The grip tightened as her foster father laid eyes on the white sheet draped over the body._

 

_Snow’s body._

 

_“What did you do?”_

 

_His long strides reached Snow almost immediately._

 

_Emma backed away until she was plastered against one of the police cars. Even the solid presence behind her couldn’t keep her standing._

 

_She watched helplessly through blurred vision as he gently removed the sheet._

 

_Emma curled into herself, with the car at her back and her father cries baring down on her from the front._

 

_Into her arms she chanted, “I'm sorry,” until her voice was hoarse._

 

_She cried the words as if that could drown out his screeching of, “what have you done?”_

 

_She screamed the words when the Sheriff told her he was taking her to the station._

 

_A day hadn’t passed in which she didn’t say the words._

 

* * *

 

Going out for drinks turned out to be an excellent idea.

 

The rigid set to Emma’s shoulders slowly became more relaxed as the evening progressed and her drink amount increased.

 

There was something freeing about five, six, seven glasses of whiskey that let her oppressive mind wonder.

 

The fierce lines frown lines perpetually etched on her face eased, the furrowed brow relaxed, and the hard glint to her eyes softened; transforming Emma from the tough and unapproachable woman to this nearly unrecognizable woman.

 

Almost. The bright and well worn red leather jacket made it impossible not to know that she was indeed Emma Swan.

 

The Beanstalk, a well-known dive bar that Ruby and Emma frequent not nearly often enough, was thriving on the Saturday night. Well, as thriving as a hole-in-the-wall could be.

 

Even, if it was a “ _tasteful hole-in-the-wall_ ” as Tamara had bestowed upon the place, despite her raised nose and haughty tone of, “ _of all the places and you take me here?_ ” Yet, the aloof and scoff prone woman couldn’t hide the pleasant surprise at the mellow hypnotic music and the amazing drinks.

 

An easy smile played across her lips at that outing.

 

“You seem…better.” Ruby tested the waters on the frame of mind Emma was in. She was neither subtle nor discreet.

 

When Emma answered her voice was unwary and almost separate from the guarded and worn voice Ruby always seemed to be arguing with.

 

“I can finally…” Emma stopped in order to drink down more of her disappearing drink. Breathing deeply through her nostrils in an exaggerated demonstration to enhance her next word, Emma continued, “ _Breathe_."

 

"You also seem…better.” Emma said coping Ruby so as to not be rude.

 

“Maybe. It’s just nice to not be alone.”

 

Their friendship doesn’t often sway into the territory of talking about feelings but when it happened Emma couldn’t help the way she instantly became uncomfortable. The need to fiddle with something always arose and with it confrontation most likely followed.

 

The careful thought the blonde put to her next words caused a slight lull as her slowing mind took longer than it would have sober to form the words.

 

“I know I always seem distant Ruby but you need to know that it has nothing to do with you. I'm just…I don’t quite know _how_ to not be distant. I do, you know, like not being alone.”

 

So maybe those carefully thought out words weren’t quite what she would have said sober and barely articulated just how much she did appreciate Ruby, the effect it had on the nearly dull eyes of her friend made her poorly fluent words a triviality.

 

Ruby perked up in the wake of Emma’s words. She had never even came close to saying those words before in all the years that they’ve known each other and Emma needed a respite from all the pent-up shit in her life. And after the last twenty-four hours this was easy than what she had dealt with hours before.

 

With that respite that had her feeling lighter, or maybe it was the drinks, came words that apparently delighted her friend.

 

“So what’s this thing with Belle?”

 

Ruby’s eyes lit up over the simple inquiry into her life. As Emma watched she wondered if that was the reason Ruby was so snippy lately.

 

Who did she have who would ask her insanely personal question about her life?

 

Emma did not know and she felt a flare of guilt over that.

 

So Emma listened as Ruby spun her tale. Well, she listened as best she could given the number of drinks she’s had so far and the distracting sight of a captivating woman playing pool.

 

Ruby talked about how Belle’s father was in crippling debt and in order to help him Belle agreed to become a trophy wife of some older man. Swept in responsibility for her loon of a father then subsequently a creepy wedding in the woods, Belle remained steadfast in her stance that she would only be a trophy wife and nothing more. Then enters the tall brunette teammate that she knew instantly that she had feelings for but little did Belle know that she was also starting to develop feelings for her husband.

 

Emma motioned to the bartender to bring Ruby a couple more drinks because the girl needed them.

 

She was in some weird ass love triangle shit, which completely explained why she had been so irritable with Emma.

 

And Emma thought her life was difficult.

 

Being so close to the woman she loves but never completely having her…

 

Maybe it wasn’t so weird after all.

 

Ruby downed her new drinks in quick succession. She turned to Emma with a sorrow filled and asked, “So the four that visited you today, you know _the fans_. Who are they?”

 

Ruby was searching for a distraction and Emma was starting to realize that she asked so many questions and wanted to know so much about Emma’s life because she needed to hide away from her own.

 

Emma and Ruby weren’t so different they only achieved the same goals through different means. Emma through overexerting herself in physical activities in order to distract herself and Ruby by delving into other people’s lives.

 

Both knew their actions weren’t healthy but the two women didn’t know anything else.

 

It was the sad and glistening eyes that made Emma indulgent. But most likely it was her drink tally.

 

“They are, they’re my family.”

 

Ruby wasn’t shocked, Emma was sure all her teammates figured as much but Ruby just wanted her to admit it.

 

“My sister—the blonde one, with her husband and…their friend and her kid.”

 

“Their friend? No ex-girlfriend or cheating housewife?” Ruby was apparently back to her trying self.

 

She gave a rueful smile then a “no” and left it at that.

 

They fell into a companionable silence after that.

 

They might have cleared away some of the smoke between them but a bit of the heavy, polluted air of resentment and old anger still lingered. Soaking deep into the fabrics of their relationship and leaving a slightly off-putting smell.

 

Dancing fingers trickled down her spine causing Emma to slosh her drink and arch away from the contact.

 

“What the hell!” Emma swivels on her stool ready to tear whoever decided to touch her a new one.

 

“You want to get out of here?”

 

The person asked before Emma had a chance to focus in on her face. She jerked away and took stock of who was invading her personal space.

 

When she finally had enough room to focus in on the intruder before her, her whiskey-clogged brain finally discerned the woman.

 

“Jack,” she said with a tone filled with indifference.

 

“Hmm, Emma how long has it been?” Jack asked with her usual forced seductiveness.

 

“As if you really care.”

 

The short response did not deter the predatory smile on her face. Emma felt the stirrings of yearning at the thought of just what that smile can accomplish and just what that mouth can bring about; trouble mostly but also orgasms that left her breathless and her mind clear.

 

And after the day she had maybe this attention wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

The whisky left her warm and oddly relaxed despite feeling Ruby was giving them her undivided attention.

 

Maybe it was only in her head and it was the need to distance herself but Ruby had always been entertained by any type of spectacle. And, whatever was unfurling between her and Jack was not to be gawked at then latter gossiped about like her favorite celebrities.

 

Maybe, it was her lack of trust that prevented her from ever having a real friendship with Ruby.

 

Damn, whiskey made her too introspective for her liking.

 

Why she didn’t stick to her usual prescription of beer and shots, she had no clue.

 

Although if the day was usual they would have been at some overpriced club. Ruby would have been submersed on the dance floor surrounded by hot gyrating bodies in hopes that she could forget about Belle and Emma would have been much like she was now; a drink in hand and a woman she had her sights on.

 

Emma stopped the extremely forward hand that was trailing down her stomach. “Sorry Jack. I'm here with a friend.”

 

It was only then that Jack acknowledged that there was someone else next to Emma. She offered Ruby a slight smile then turned her laser focus back to her target.

 

“Besides,” Emma continued, “you’re with Anton. You know I don’t mess up relationships.”

 

“And if I told you I wasn’t with him?”

 

“I would call you a liar and tell you that I'm with my friend right now.”

 

Emma turned, downing her drink in one turn and calling for another.

 

“Then I’ll join you.”

 

Snatching the drink the bartender brought over before Emma could reach for it, she made her home on a barstool next to Emma and sent a smile at her that dared Emma to stop her from doing what she wanted.

 

“Actually I have to go.”

 

Ruby tried to speak over the bubbling tension radiating from the pair. She cleared her throat to gain the attention of either woman. The eye contact they were making as Jack downed her drink was powerful enough to send shivers down her spine.

 

When Emma finally turned her way, her green eyes were glossed over and dazed. Whether that was from the amount of drinks she consumed or the lewdness overflowing from Jack’s stare and her straying hand, Ruby did not want to know.

 

Either way Ruby knew it was her time to leave.

 

Ruby hightailed it out of the bar after Emma gave her a nod of understanding and before she saw something she didn’t want to.

 

She did hear the words Emma murmured to Jack before she got too far.

 

“Honestly, you aren’t with Anton?”

 

Jack must have nodded or spoke in a voice so low Ruby couldn’t here the response. But she did hear Emma’s clear and suggestive response.

 

“Good.”

 

* * *

 

_Sitting in a cell wasn’t a new experience to Emma._

 

_Before the Midas’ adopted her she had developed a habit of running away from the terror of her assigned foster families. When she was eventually caught by the authorities they always thought she could learn her lesson by showing her how scary jail was._

 

_She had always liked it._

 

_It never scared her._

 

_Jail kept her safe and protected her from the outside that never gave a damn about her._

 

_But, this time she didn’t like it._

 

_Cold, uncomfortable, confining and nothing to do save reflect on how she got there._

 

_Which resulted in her crying until she was hollow and numb._

 

_After this day there would rarely be a time where she didn’t feel like that._

* * *

 

Stumbling through Emma’s front door in a flurry of wild kisses and urgent hands that pulled and tugged at any scrap of clothing they came in contact with, Emma finally felt in control.

 

Even if in that moment she was currently being led towards her bed.

 

Sex was easy. Emma was almost mechanical in her precision to bring a woman to orgasm. There was no thought required other than how good it felt to be free. When the only thing on her mind was how good she actually felt for once.

 

It was a vastly different tiring activity than running but it was the same in the solace it brings her and the weightlessness she can almost imagine when entwined with a warm body and pleasurable aftershocks still coursing through her body.

 

Emma groaned when she lost contact with the body in front of her. The whisky and her budding arousal scorched through her body leaving her panting and in a haze of ravenous need.

 

“You're partially _eager_ tonight.” Jack teased, keeping her lips hovering over Emma’s but never letting them touch.

 

“Just make me forget,” Emma said chasing her lips. “Make me forget everything outside of us.”

 

Emma pulled her flush against herself eliciting the hitching of their breaths and loving the way her pulse pounded at the feel of her. Her panting breath puffed against Jack’s neck as she bit and soothed the flesh.

 

“Just us,” Emma reiterated as skillful fingers found wet heat.

 

For the rest of the night and into the early morning before they collapsed exhausted and spent, they took each other wildly and thoroughly.

 

In the wake of exhausted limbs and still fluttering hearts Emma forgot.

 

* * *

 

Kathryn settled into bed beside her husband. Laying her head on his chest and seeking comfort from the steadiness of his even breaths.

 

She allowed herself to sink even further into his warm frame when his callused hand ran soothing patterns across her back.

 

She needed him. She always had.

 

When her tears started falling on his bare chest he pulled her in closer.

 

He didn’t offer words because she did not need nor want false platitudes. His reassurance always came in the form of physical affection.

 

He always made her feel safe, warm, and loved.

 

The last thought she had before falling asleep was if Emma had ever had someone that made her feel that way.

 

* * *

  

_The ringing of her phone was as unwelcome as the thought of moving._

 

_Kathryn and Frederick had collapsed into a pile of goo, not ten minutes ago. She still felt his warm breath skating over her thigh where he was still placing absentminded kisses over her skin._

 

_Kathryn arched her back when he pressed his lips closer to where she wanted them._

 

_“Again?” Fred’s voice took on a teasing timber._

 

_She met his shinning eyes with a teasing smirk. “You started it. Besides, you wouldn’t have proposed a day of shirking our duties if you didn’t want to please my every whim.”_

 

 _“Your every whim? Why, I almost sound_ used _.” Fred pushed up from in between her legs then put a hand over his heart, both firmly ignoring the chiming phone. “Is that what I am to you, Miss Midas? A convenient, sexy love machine?”_

 

_Kat laughed, her heart soaring with her love for him. “Please. If you were a convenient love machine we wouldn’t be talking right now.”_

 

_Adapting a robotic voice that had Kat snorting in amusement. “I am at your service Miss Mid-as.”_

 

_“That was terrible.” She smiled huge and sparkling._

 

_It had been months since she had seen him and he came to New York all smiles and a easygoing demeanor, shouting plans for relaxation away from the stress of her classes. He kicked Regina out of their shared apartment and she left storming from the room in mock frustration but not before sending her a wink._

 

_They all knew what “relaxation” meant._

 

_Looking into his eyes which had never ceased to look at her like she was the brightest part of everyday and he was happy to go blind if only to look at her for a second longer, Kat knew that she would never want anyone else._

 

_She tangled her hands in his hair and pulled him into a kiss. Conveying with every press of her lips and swipe of her tongue, how utterly in love she was with him._

 

_Suddenly she was crying and laughing and moaning into his lips._

  

_This man was her forever and god was she was in bliss._

 

_Kat gripped his hips to bring him closer and prevent him from stopping the rhythm of their undulating hips._

 

_“Marry me,” she gasped out as urgently as their meeting hips, as she was brought closer to the edge. “Marry me, Fred.”_

 

_“Yes Kat. Yes.”_

 

_And after, when both had their respective climaxes and they were gazing at each other in postcoital bliss the call came._

 

_“You should answer it. It could be Regina wanting to get back in. Or Emma.”_

 

_“Ugh fine,” she groaned rolling over to grab her flip phone from the nightstand. “It’s dad. He’s probably going to complain about how distant Emma has been and how worried mom is.”_

 

_“Just answer the phone Kat.”_

 

 _“Hey dad. I'm kind of in the middle of something impo—_ what? _”_

  

_Kathryn stood up alarmed and worried all at once when she heard her father’s panicked voice . “Slow down. I don’t understand. What happened?”_

 

_Finally able to discernher father’s hysterical cries, Kat stiffened. Her back drawn tight with tension and ready to snap as she focused in on the barely coherent words from her father._

 

_“Your mother… Oh god. Kat. She’s—she’s dead. Oh god, she’s gone.”_

 

_She recoiled from the words and the biting sting of loss that followed._

 

_The words seeped through her ears like acid. Distorting the words that followed, sizzling and burning through her._

 

_Everything was left to fester in its wake._

 

_Her mother is—_

 

_Kathryn couldn’t even let the wretched thought cross her mind._

 

_Kat could only fight the words off for so long. It was inevitable when she felt the visceral reaction to her father’s words searing through her._

 

_Sorrow burrowed down her throat leaving her choking on sobs, it was clawing its way through her chest as if it could cleave her in two._

 

_Her phone fell snapping shut on impact and Kat was sure she would do the same when her legs gave out. Instead muscled arms encased her in their comforting grip and held her together as she sobbed._

 

_It was nearly surreal as only seconds or minutes beforehand she and Fred were—_

 

_—and now, she’s—_

 

_She’s gone._

 

* * *

 

Emma felt the warm weight of Jack nestled beside her and immediately rolled away from her. She got up to take a shower and hopefully lose the slight ache behind her eyes in the process. The blonde knew that Jack would be gone before she got out.

 

Standing under the hot spray of the shower she knew she still continued these one-night-stands to starve off the quiet of an empty apartment and a lonely bed, yet she couldn’t help but wondering if she was being worn down in the process.

 

It sure felt like that the morning after a long night of passion. When the water couldn’t wash away all that was wrong in her life and make her acknowledge all that she couldn’t say.

 

Distantly Emma heard the sound of a door closing and with it most of her settling tension.

 

“Then there was one,” she whispered to herself as she stepped from the shower.

 

The silence in her loft was cutting but never had the quiet been more apparent than today.

 

It was so easy to be swept back into her boiling anger than admit that her loft was lonely and the presence of the people her heart ached for only made the emptiness more evident as her eyes swept over discarded Xbox controllers and the old glasses of orange juice.

 

“Damn them,” she mumbled, putting controllers back where they belong then washing the used glasses with more force than was needed, all the while fighting the temptation to take another hack at the toaster.

 

Decidedly attempting for maturity than hacking out her frustrations on a ruined appliance Emma instead picked up her scattered clothes, changed her sheets and found new reasons to shout at controlled animated players who couldn’t do a proper bicycle kick.

 

It was around noon when a knock sounded at her door.

 

Again?

 

“The key is under the mat,” Emma spoke loud enough for the person to hear. She was in the middle of wiping the floor with Barcelona. Playing staunch defense to maintain her lead Emma only chanced the barest of glances at her visitor before turning back to stopping Messi from scoring on her.

 

All at once she froze, the controller falling from her hand as Messi effortlessly navigated his way to a goal. The talented bastard.

 

She turned back to be sure she wasn’t imagining the person she saw.

 

“Henry.” Emma’s voice a mix between exasperation and relief.

 

“Hi Emma.” Henry was fiddling with the end of his stripped scarf.

 

 _Shit_.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I'm bringing you home.”

 

 _Shit_.

 

At the open door that somebody didn’t bother closing she looked to see Regina or Kat, even Freddy.

 

“Don’t tell me you're alone Kid.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Henry easily agreed and Emma knew, like she did when she had a perfect opportunity for a goal and knew with complete certainty that she was going to score, that she was about to get a smartass reply.

 

“I'm not alone I'm with you.”

 

Cursing around kids shouldn’t happen but fuck if _fuck_ didn’t slip out.

 

“Please tell me your mom isn’t in Storybrooke.”

 

“If she is should I not tell you?”

 

The frustrated blonde went in search of her phone all the while grumbling about smartass kids.

 

The call was answered on the second ring.

 

“Emma, despite how happy I am that you called—”

 

“Henry’s here.”

 

There was silence as the voices in the background stopped their chatter.

 

“He’s where?”

 

Emma was glad she put the call on speakerphone when she saw Henry wince at the livid response from his mother.

 

“Here in Boston. With me.”

 

“I will deal with his insubordination when he is returned home.”

 

She couldn’t help the grin at the mom tone Regina was taking.

 

“Kid, do you know what insubordination means?”

 

Henry looked down right queasy. “No Emma.”

 

“It means you're grounded,” Regina added after hearing him through the phone. “Emma are you—” from the almost hesitant tone from the stern mother, Emma turned the speakerphone off, “—okay to bring him home?”

 

“I’ll get him home safe Regina.”

 

“That’s not what I meant.”

 

“He’ll be there in a couple of hours. Bye.”

 

Henry was shuffling his feet and looking guilty when the called ended. “On the way can you tell me about—”

 

“No.” Groaning was apparently going to be a habit for today. “I need pants.” Driving a kid that wasn’t even hers through several state lines in nothing but boy shorts and t-shirt that didn’t even cover her bellybutton would not be the smartest thing she could do.

  

The trip to Storybrooke could almost be considered fun if she didn’t think about a talking boy who kept trying to hedge into her past, text messages from Ruby with winky faces asking how her night was, text messages from Regina on their progress, how cramped her bug was, and most important driving to the one place where her world fell apart.

 

What a wonderful trip.

 

At least the snacks were nice.

 

“Are you mad at me Emma?”

 

“No I'm not mad.” The forceful grip on the wheel belied her response. "I-I'm just…”

 

“You don’t want to go home.”

 

“No I don’t.”

 

The kid was fiddling with a pack of powered donuts when he asked, “does it have anything to do with my dad? I mean, uh, I know you knew him and I just wanted to know if maybe you could tell me about him?”

 

Emma bit her tongue to keep from snapping at the kid. When she met the curious eyes with a quick glance at her passenger, she recognized the thirst to learn about where he came from and who his other parent was.

 

If Emma could understand anything it would definitely be that.

 

Clicking her tongue as she thought of something to tell him. With a smile she settled on what she was reminded of when she first laid eyes on the kid. “You look just like him. I remember when Regina was pregnant with you he would always say that he wished that you would look just like her. Bronze skin, golden eyes, and a smile that just made you _melt_.”

 

Through the corner of her eyes she saw the smile easing across Henry’s lips. It was similar to Daniel’s whenever he used to think of Regina.

 

Clearing her throat she continued, “He used to say, ‘have you ever looked at a sunset and just knew that you were meant to see it? That’s how it feels being with Regina. You're stuck by the beauty, pulled in by the scope of colors, and you stay because you know that you're meant to love her.’”

 

Oh shit, the kid was crying.

 

“You're dad was an artist kid so _of course_ he was going to be dramatic about everything.”

 

Henry was chuckling through his tears and did it make her heart warm.

 

“You look like him in your fairer skin and your eyes.” She swallowed. “But you’re just like your mom in your facial expressions, like how your whole face shines when you're excited or the slight furrow to your brow when you're thinking. But mostly because your mom is also an annoying smartass.”

 

Emma nearly shinned as she got a chortle out of Henry.

 

“Stop snorting!” Emma exclaimed jokingly. “Ugh, another thing you get from your mother.”

 

“I can't!” Henry managed to say before he was swept into another laughing fit. “I am going…to tell mom you said that.”

 

“Good. You’re mom’s gotten soft ever since she had you.”

 

“You think so?” At Emma’s nod Henry laughed caught up in his glee until he said, “then you definitely wouldn’t believe the stories how mom came to be one strike away from being banned from coming to my games.”

 

“No?” Emma was laughing now too and her hands had long since lost the tight grip on the wheel. “Tell me everything.”

 

 

 

It was all the same. Nothing had changed. Main Street was the same and Emma drove fast past Granny’s lest the keen old woman see her driving past.

 

Henry seemed to notice her anxiety and had stopped talking the moment they crossed into the town.

 

There was a weight that settled in her gut and pressure behind her eyes that even rubbing couldn’t dissipate.

 

The drive to the mayoral mansion was loaded with tension and Emma felt like she would actually jump out of her skin as her movements became more jerky and laden with nerves.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Emma. You're home now.”

 

Henry’s quiet voice barely reached her through her rising unease.

 

“If only, Henry.”

 

It was evening by the time the yellow bug stopped in front of the kid’s home. Parked as it was behind a hedge made the car nearly impossible to see from the house.

 

“You’re home.” The false cheer in her voice was downright painful.

 

“You aren’t coming up?”

 

The car was still running and Emma’s foot was itching to stomp on the pedal the second Henry stepped out of the car, instead with a tight smile she said, “of course I am.”

 

Following a couple steps behind the eager kid, Emma paused for just a second so she could trace the design on the gate.

 

Henry waited for her at the stairs leading to the porch. “Thank you bringing me home.”

 

The blonde grunted as Henry ran into her middle. Tiny kid barely reached passed her bellybutton, she awkwardly folded one arm around him and with the other patted his wild mop of hair. “Don’t mention it kid. Just be sure to never do it again.”

 

Saved from a response, but probably not from his mother’s reprimands, the door was thrown open and Emma allowed herself to appreciate the beautiful face etched in relief when honey eyes saw her son.

 

Regina rushed down the steps engulfing Henry into her arms. Kat and Freddy not that far behind her.

 

The family was smothered in one ginormous hug and Emma tried to inch backwards feeling more awkward and out of place the longer it went on.

 

“Well, I should get going.”

 

“Actually,” the deep voice started from behind the gathered family, “I’ll need to take your statement.”

 

“What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” Emma growled at the man.

 

Hers eyes leaving the similar green ones of the sheriff and turning accusingly toward Regina.

 

* * *

 

_Emma waved the letter around like a madwoman, her movements jerky and sharp._

 

_“You knew? You knew and you didn’t tell me?”_

 

_“I was trying to protect you Em. You already felt so responsible, I knew how you would have felt if you had known.”_

 

 _“She was my mother! My_ real _mother and you never told me. And my real father was here and you never told me!” Emma was near hyperventilating as her raged breath came faster. “You never told me and they threw me away!”_

 

_She was openly sobbing now. “They threw me away, Regina. They threw me away.”_

 

_Regina, who was stock-still on her porch carefully descended her stairs. “I am so sorry, Emma. I wanted to prevent this, I did.”_

 

 _“Do_ not _touch me!” Emma reared back from her touch. “We’re not family Regina. We aren’t even friends. You're just my sister’s friend. You had no right! You had no right!”_

 

_Although Regina flinched from the screaming words, she heard what Emma was really saying._

 

They had no right to throw her away.

 

_And Regina ached for her._

 

_Emma turned all fiery anger and scalding tears and never looked back._

 

_It would be the last time they spoke in years._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-Thanks for reading this far, you're amazing.
> 
> 2-What a terrible way to get engaged, I just really wanted to write some of Kat's sorrow.
> 
> 3-Writing Emma and Henry is always fun to do. I loved writing that part of the chapter.
> 
> 4-A lot more football and SwanQueen in the next couple of chapters
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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